Body, Stop Trolling Me

I’m relapsing again. Back has come the hypersomnia, light, noise, smell and touch sensitivity, severe pain that the tramadol barely touches, struggling to be able to lift my head from the pillow, and I can’t roll over. Yesterday I blogged saying I was grateful that I could still roll over, and when I woke up I couldn’t. Last week the gallstone type pain disappeared just after my doctor had seen me and organised an ultrasound. A bit of consistency would be nice.

I do know the reason for this relapse. The noise at the beginning of the week as our upstairs neighbours were getting a new boiler was too much for my body to cope with. I was hoping that we’d done enough to avoid it making me ill but obviously not. What hasn’t helped is I’d not recovered from the previous relapse yet,

We know what to do during a relapse now. Johan will roll me over every few hours. I will be sleeping and resting lots. We’ll keep an eye on my pressure spots to make sure they don’t go beyond discolouration. I eat what I can when I can, and try not to worry too much about it. Johan gives me my medication as often as I’m allowed. If I stop drinking, urinating or the pain becomes completely unbearable we get help.

I’m scared. Every time I’ve relapsed I’ve lost some functioning. I don’t get back to the level I was before. I’ve already had to hand over so much responsibility to Johan he’s struggling. He needs someone to look after him and when I’m really ill, I can’t do it. I’m hoping this will just be a short blip and we can go back to normal soon. I have my friends and my penguins and Johan so I can get through this. I just need my body to stop trolling me (and for upstairs to stop making so much noise, as they’re currently arguing and banging on the floor/our ceiling).

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