Day 21: PSAs

The problem with sleeping most of the day and being zombie brained the rest of it is it makes it very difficult to think what to blog about. Luckily Sammie sent messages when I was asleep that gave me an idea.

Sammie shared the public road safety videos that she remembers from school. They’re quite different from the ones Johan and I remember, being creepy and deliberately scary. I think they were inspired by Coraline. The videos she shared are below.

The main road safety videos Johan could remember were the hedgehogs. I saw them on telly but unfortunately am too old to have seen them in school. The song is awesome.

I instead got the Green Cross Code Man. The actor is David Prowse, who played Darth Vader in Star Wars. After a few of these videos, they even let him use his own voice! I remember this one with his robot.

I didn’t realise until today that he made a new one, aimed at young adults!

What I remember most though were the fire safety videos, starring Francis the Firefly. I’m still scared of matches, partially due to these videos. The short version I remember from school, the long version I think I watched on telly. I read the book as well in junior school.

These days I think they were too harsh on Cocky Roach, especially in comparison to the punishment Francis got (or didn’t). If he’d been given good guidance and help, he might have become a productive citizen, especially as he was just a kid. They never did say what his motivation or goal was, and I’d be surprised if he actually wanted to burn the town down. He most likely just wanted to scare Francis.

I also remember watching lots of rail safety videos, as my first junior school wasn’t far from the high speed lines towards Liverpool Lime Street. I can’t seem to find any of those on YouTube though unfortunately.

I enjoyed those assemblies, and I can still remember the Green Cross Code (Stop, Look, Listen, Think), not that it helps when you forget what a road is. Any assembly where the school telly was brought in was always a good one. I suspect that if I’d seen the ones Sammie saw though I’d have ended up with nightmares. Bring back the hedgehogs!

Day 20 – Cuddles

Tuesday night I decided I wanted an alcoholic drink. I’m lucky in that I don’t have alcohol intolerance any more, and alcohol reduces my pain, anxiety and muscle spasms. If I didn’t have a family history of alcoholism and didn’t have to stop my painkillers to drink I might have it more often, but I keep it as an occasional treat. I also get quite giggly and it’s a bit harder to judge if I’m overdoing it.

Being in less pain meant I could cope more with touch, and I ended up having lots of cuddles with Johan. Since I’m normally in too much pain for even a short hug, this was very much wanted. Not being able to have hugs very often is one of the hardest parts of being this ill.

I ended up sleeping most of Wednesday, only waking up when my digestive system did. Which is fine when there’s someone here, not so much when I have to wait 90 minutes for someone to come help me. Being incontinent sucks sometimes.

Using a toilet again is one of the goals I’ve had on my list for several years now but I’ve yet to manage it. Silly body not liking being upright and incontinence meaning I don’t get enough warning to use the shower chair as a commode.

Otherwise sleep is good. Not being able to choose the times of it sucks a bit, and I feel horrendous when I wake up, but not sleeping means less cope and more worse symptoms. It did mean this blog post was late but I don’t mind that.

Day 19 – Minecraft Skins

Had a better day today. Had diet cola to give me a bit of a boost and it helped massively with getting rid of zombie brain mode. I like caffeine, just don’t want to get to the point where I’m dependent on it as I already have a bad enough headache without adding another.

Someone from the opticians came out with some purple frames for me to try and I was able to find ones I liked for both my normal glasses and sunglasses, so that is good. I should get them in a week or two. I’m looking forward to being able to see properly again!

There were workers outside finishing off deholing the hole. We think they’re done as there are no longer barriers, though the new pavement surface was still steaming when Johan took the photo. I managed to get my headphones on and listened to some music so the noise didn’t affect me too badly (yay for being well enough to listen to music!).

Spoke to Sammie on and off after she finished school. She is much happier than she was yesterday which I’m glad of. For the past few weeks she’s been working on some trans flag based skins for Minecraft and today she finished them! I promised I’d share them with the world as I think they’re awesome. (Sammie isn’t trans, she’s just very supportive of her trans friends and family.) There are boy, girl and non binary options with different skin tones and for both 3 and 4 pixel models. I’m really proud of her 🙂

Link: Trans Minecraft Skins

Day 18 – Something Goes Here

Brain is zombie. My nap yesterday turned into a full sleep so this is late. Progress was made on filling in the hole, which is good but the noise was exhausting. Silly body getting worse from noise.

Tried free from Tiffin I got from Morrisons as it was the only one they had. The texture is slightly off but it’s still really nice. I’d get it again. I don’t need free from foods as luckily I’m fine with dairy and gluten and stuff (or at least it’s no worse than eating anything else) but it is good that there are tasty options.

This blog post was kinda pointless but it’s still Monday in Hawaii so it’s not too late.

Day 16 – 20 Random Questions

Back when blogs were bigger (mostly before everyone was on Facebook), there used to be these blog surveys that would go around the various blog communities. I always enjoyed them, so I’m taking some I found by randomly googling (from https://www.tagquestions.net/get-to-know-me-tag/) and answering them here. As it’s my blog, I’m just picking some I want to answer.

1. What is your full name? – Danni Dominie Brennand.

2. What does your name mean? – Danni comes from Daniel, meaning God is my judge. Dominie comes from dominus, meaning lord or master, but this particular spelling can also mean a schoolmaster in Scots or a minister. Brennand comes from old English meaning burnt hand. I didn’t know that when I got married.

3. Are you named after anyone? – Not that I can remember. I think my mum just liked the name, but I could be wrong.

4. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? – I already did 🙂 My mum always wanted to call me Danni, but was told it wasn’t a proper name so I was baptised Danielle. I changed it via deed poll to Danni a few years ago. If I had to change it to something completely different, maybe Alex. I’d have gone with Sammie but I already used that for my daughter.

5. Where did you grow up? – I grew up in Liverpool. Despite years of trying, I never did manage a Scouse accent. Mine is best described as generic northern English. Interestingly, Sammie still sounds quite like me despite us not living together since she was three.

6. What would your parents have named you if you were assigned male at birth? – Bartholomew. I was born before the Simpsons came out so I think I had a lucky escape there.

7. What is your biggest accomplishment? – Surviving severe depression. I still have significant mental health issues with anxiety, panic attacks and flashbacks, but I now want to be alive. It took a lot of help from many awesome people and a decent amount of luck to be able to recover from it. I still sometimes wonder how I managed to survive and am now mostly happy.

8. What is your biggest fear? – Personal? Pain. To a ridiculous degree. I have many phobias all of which come down to being afraid of pain. I’m scared of needles, fire, boiling liquids, knives, ovens, falling, traffic and wasps among other things. The silly part is I live with constant severe pain and deal with it relatively okay, but I’m still scared of things that would be much less painful. I’m also scared of something bad happening to my loved ones, especially Sammie and Johan, but I think that’s more understandable.

9. What inspires you? – People, especially those I know, overcoming major obstacles to achieve their goals. I’m lucky to see examples of this frequently.

10. What is the most important thing in your life? – Silly answer? Penguins 🐧. Serious answer? Sammie and Johan.

11. What has required the most courage of you in your life so far? – Admitting that I was too ill to look after Sammie. I love her so much and wish that we could live together, but it’s better for her to be living with her grandparents. I’m really happy that I’m able to be a part of her life still via the internet and visits.

12. What is your favourite drink? – Hot chocolate with whipped cream, sprinkles and marshmallows.

13. What are your favourite foods? – Chocolate, bananas, chicken and sweet potato. I’ve had various combinations but not all in one dish before. When I’m able to cook again I’ll have to do some experimenting.

14. What is your favourite holiday destination? Of the places I’ve been, Talhenbont Hall in North Wales. It’s beautiful and I have some great memories from there. I’d love to go back some day.

15. What is your favourite type of clothing? – Comfortable, preferably purple and with penguins on. When I could stand I loved spinny skirts. I also like a shirt and tie. I mostly wear t-shirts or pyjamas now, being in bed nearly all the time.

16. What is your favourite way to pass time? Playing a game in the company of my favourite people. We don’t need to be talking or even interacting (though that’s still great), just being comfortable together in the same space.

17. What was your favourite subject in school? IT. I was good at it, I loved using computers and there was very little handwriting involved.

18. What was your least favourite subject in school? For most of it, art. I was terrible at it and could never get it how I wanted. I had an awesome teacher for it in year 9 though so it was fun that year.

19. What was your favourite TV show when you were a child? – This changed depending on age. Some I remember include Rainbow, Wacaday, The Queen’s Nose, The Demon Headmaster, The Worst Witch, Clarissa Explains it All and Sabrina the Teenage Witch. When I was 13 I got really into Star Trek and that’s still one of my favourite shows.

20. Are you scared of heights? – Nope. I’m afraid of falling, because it’ll hurt, but so long as I’m strapped in or safe then I really like them. It used to surprise people when I was younger that I had no problems with tall rollercoasters or climbing as I was so scared and anxious otherwise.