The world is very fuzzy to me now. Staying conscious is hard work, and I’m not very with it. Johan is having to do a lot of guesswork as my brain fog is worse and I forget what things are, and how to describe them. Luckily he is very good at guessing what I might mean.

According to someone important in the Tory party whose name I can’t remember right now (though I guess it could be any of them) I shouldn’t have a lifestyle while living on sickness benefits, and I should take risks to work. What happened to the most vunerable will be protected? I think they’re no longer even pretending to believe that now. I’m not sure what job they think I’ll be suited for. I’m typing this through a fog of exhaustion and blurry double vision, so please excuse any mistakes. When I was doing much better than I am now social services panicked when Johan went into hospital and put me in a care home, and I know that’s the plan if anything happens to Johan again. I’m not even well enough to work as a bed tester as I need Johan to roll me over to prevent bed sores, and the only bed I can test is my own.

Johan technically can work, but his job right now is looking after me, for which he gets a whole Β£30 added onto the income support for. I’m not currently well enough to calculate the full total of our benefits, but I’m pretty sure it’s lower than the costs of me being in a care home, which is what would happen if Johan had to get a job. He’s already on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Maybe that Tory guy who thinks we’ve got too nice a lifestyle would like to swap with him? I’m sure Johan would love to stay in a big house with lots of free expenses and the possibility of 8 hours sleep at night without worrying about my health. The Tory guy can roll me over, help me onto and off the bedpan, wipe my bottom, know when I need what medications since I can’t help much with that, spoon feed me, and everything else that Johan does, for the same money we get. Any equipment either has to be agreed by equipment services (and may take months to arrive) or has to be bought from my DLA.

Danni need sleep now. Blog again tomorrow when conscious enough.

3 thoughts on “Fuzziness

  1. I’ve been following what the politicians have been trying to do to disabled people in Britain, Danni. It’s both infuriating and heartbreaking, and I’m on another continent. I can’t imagine how it must make you feel, being directly affected by it. πŸ™

    Rest well…

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.