Downsides to Being Danni

Yesterday I wrote a blog post, but forgot to publish it before sleeping. Fixed now, but I was a silly sausage.

I’m normally a very happy Danni. Penguins, friends, family, technology, purple, all awesome things that make me happy. There are some things that I don’t like about being me, some coming from being ill, others from being Autistic and Dyspraxic, and some combined to make smaller issues bigger.

One of the main ones is struggling to communicate with friends and family. There are several things that cause this to be an issue. The first is unless prompted, I forget people (and things) exist. Luckily these days there’s friend lists on Facebook and similar, but I’m unable to name all my friends and family without some form of prompt. I love them all dearly, it’s a quirk of my memory that’s been made much worse by being ill. I have to keep reminders around so I never forget who Sammie (my daughter) is. I imagine most people don’t forget their own immediate family, but I do. I find frequent Facebook statuses, tweets and stuff really helpful to remember who people are 🙂

I’m also pretty face blind. I don’t recognise myself in the mirror, and remember other people by hair, clothing style, voice and movement. I do better with photographs, but have thought pictures of my sister were me before. If someone drastically changes their hair style, especially without warning, it can take me a while to get used to their new one. This is less of a problem now I rarely see people face to face but it’s still frustrating.

I struggle to initiate conversation, even with people I really like and know well. Not because I don’t care about them, but because I don’t know what to say. I was getting better at this but then I got ill and it’s bad again. I really appreciate when others start a conversation with me because replying is much easier. Unfortunately since I became really ill I’m not always up to long conversations, but I’m hoping that will improve soon.

I’ve got a type of hearing problem where I can’t hear speech properly when there’s background noise. My actual hearing is better than average (I can hear things most other people can’t) but I can’t filter what I hear so have everything coming through, which is exhausting. I lip read to some extent which helps a bit but in a noisy room I simply can’t hear someone speaking. This is also a major part of why I can’t use the phone – I have no visual clues to help me and the line or background noise makes it nearly impossible to understand what’s being said. When I try it takes so much energy I’m completely exhausted afterwards and have relapsed because of it.

I’m tired now so I’ll leave it there, but understanding these are difficulties I have due to disability rather than being lazy or weak makes it much easier to deal with and means I can concentrate on workarounds to these issues. I’m still awesome, despite my problems 🙂

Level 100!

I’m really happy as I got my Night Elf Priestess Danni to level 100 this morning. I’m kinda overwhelmed with all the stuff there is to do. So far I know I want to finish all the zone quests, search for all the hidden treasures, kill all the rare mobs,  level all my professions to 700, do the pet battles in my garrison, level my garrison buildings and heal all the dungeons in a guild group, preferably on heroic. That should keep me busy for a bit 😛

I’ve also managed to fix my problems with Minecraft. Turns out there’s a problem with the latest Java and going back to an older version fixed the crashes I was having. Yay! Sammie and her friend want me to play on the Minecraft server on Friday so I have that to look forward to.

My health seems to be improving a bit. Not only can I spend a lot of time on my computer, but I’m also able to be propped up more in bed. If I’m still doing well tomorrow I’ll be trying to sit on the edge of the bed (with Johan helping) to try and build up my tolerance again. I’m also finding reading a bit easier now. I still have the cold of doom but it does seem to be slowly easing up.

I got my blood results back from the hospital and it turns out I’m malnourished. Various deficiencies which I’m pretty sure are caused by not being able to eat properly for far too long. The doctor has recommended supplements and help from the dietician. I’m wondering though if it’s being worsened by my digestive system forgetting how to do its job a lot of the time. If I get that sorted though I’m hoping it’ll mean I feel a bit better, even though I know it won’t fix everything. The penguins are telling me I need more fish. I agree with them.

Sleeping pattern is still back to front. Not too worried about it but I’m trying to push it back as that works better for me than trying to bring it forward. If I can get it closer to normal I don’t know how long it’ll last but it’ll make playing with Sammie much easier so it’s worth it.

Penguins still exist. I have good friends. There are amazing people who I love and who love me. I’ve been able to do loads for me. Today is a good day 🙂

Java Fail

For some reason Java keeps crashing on my computer when I’m running Minecraft. Very annoying but I’m not with it enough to fix it today. Maybe tomorrow.

I’ve played Minecraft with Sammie today (when I could stay in) and then went into World of Warcraft for more levelling. The queues were much shorter today (about 20 minutes) and there was a lot less lag. Yay! I’ve managed to get to level 96 which isn’t bad going for me 🙂 Much of the guild are close to or level 100 now, which is awesome. Johan is the best geared in the guild, which is cool (though it’s only heroic level stuff so it’ll probably change when raiding starts).

I’m well enough for my computer (obviously) which I’m super happy about but touch and stuff is being really problematic. I want computer a bit more right now but if it continues for more than a few more days I’ll have to sort something out.

Got a letter from my consultant today. Mentioned I’d a previous positive ANA test (news to me) and now have probable POTS (not surprised). Also says fatigue of unknown origin, which is fair enough. I’ve been referred to Professor Julia Newton so hopefully she’ll be able to help (I know a lot of people who have asked to be referred to her so I’m feeling very lucky it has happened for me without having to ask, and that she’s not far away).

I’ve got a couple of blog drafts I want to finish, but all brain power currently going into computer gaming related stuff (or talking to very important people). I’m sure I’ll manage it at some point 🙂

Level Up!

Warlords of Draenor Collector's Edition box
Warlords of Draenor Collector’s Edition box

So last night I did eventually get onto World of Warcraft and start the quests for the new expansion. I’m really enjoying it. I probably stayed up far too late doing so and got to sleep again about 11am, after my Collector’s Edition arrived. The art book is very heavy so I’ll need help to look at it, but I’m really looking forward to it. I’m using my new Blackhoof mouse mat with my computer and Johan is going to rip the soundtrack for me 🙂

When I came off the computer this morning, I was level 92. I’m still in Shadowmoon Valley, and keep being distracted by Garrison quests and Archaeology (which I’ve already got to 700). I’ve still not got any gear upgrades but that’s okay as I did have (old) flex raiding stuff from Mists of Pandaria.

This evening I woke up about 7pm feeling pretty good for me. I had a few problems getting in at first, so I played a game of Hearthstone while I was waiting for it to calm down. It seems the lag is getting better now. I’m really happy I’ve been able to go on the computer and play two days in a row. I’m hoping this will continue, though I won’t be upset if it doesn’t. These have been really good days and I want them to continue 😀

Johan only slept about 3 hours this morning. He fell asleep about 7am and woke up for the postman just after 10am 😛 He seems happy though.

When I eventually crash or reach level 100 I might blog about something else, but until then I’ve got more levelling to do 🙂

Need More Penguins

Wearing my Blizzcon t-shirt. Primrose wanted to say hi too.
Wearing my Blizzcon t-shirt. Primrose wanted to say hi too.

Always need more penguins.

Today is the second day of Blizzcon. I’m so happy I’ve been well enough to watch most of it. Yesterday I managed to watch stuff all the way through to the end of the costume contest, which was awesome. Today I started watching stuff when it began again, and if there hadn’t been a little accident with the fire alarm I’d have probably watched it all the way through today. As it is I’m taking a bit of a break now from watching it to kinda rest and to write this. I even put my Blizzcon t-shirt on today (though the awesome picture is on the back so not easily seen when in bed, and the dark grey on black isn’t easy to see in photos).

With the fire alarm that didn’t affect me too badly by itself (a bit of body jerking and becoming non-verbal which I can cope with), but the care call alarm went off (to check we’re okay) and the high pitched noise of that went right through me and made me feel horrendous for a bit. Yup, the care call alarm is worse than a fire alarm. If it weren’t for the fact if there is a fire it could save my life (they know I’m bedbound and will call the fire brigade if there’s actually a fire/we don’t tell them we’re okay if the alarm has gone off) then I’d consider getting rid of it.

My favourite parts of Blizzcon so far have been the World of Warcraft panels, the announcement of Overwatch (first multiplayer shooter game I really want to play) and the Hearthstone expansion Goblins vs Gnomes. I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve seen though other than the technical difficulties 😛 If I weren’t too ill I’d be playing all the Blizzard games I have right now (that’s World of Warcraft, Diablo 3, Hearthstone and Heroes of the Storm). As it is I’m hoping I’ll be okay on Thursday to play at least some of the new World of Warcraft expansion, Warlords of Draenor.

Of the Overwatch stuff we’ve seen so far, Tracer is my favourite character but I really dislike her accent (fake cockney). Surely Blizzard could find a British voice actor for their British character?! The idea behind her character is awesome though. The character I’d most feel comfortable playing from a type perspective will probably be Mercy, as she’s the main healer character. The whole idea is just awesome though and the cinematic they had was amazing, especially with little things like the security guard playing Hearthstone 🙂

I’m hoping tomorrow to catch up on some of the panels and things that I’ve missed, but if I’m not up to it I have a couple of weeks to do so. So many things I want to do and not enough spoons to do them all. I can be excited and happy about them though 🙂