Category: Gaming

Danni

How Is It April Already?

Autism, Computers, Danni, Gaming, M.E., Physical Disability, Real Life, World of Warcraft

Bullet Point update cos easier:

  • I got my PIP award. Standard care, no mobility. I apparently only need aids and adaptations (not carers), as I can type on my tablet. I have no communication difficulties despite being non-verbal during the assessment. I can somehow walk more than 50 metres (but less than 200) despite not being able to sit upright or stand, due to being able to lift my legs from the bed once while lying down. We asked for a reconsideration, they said it was right. We’re going to go to tribunal but I’m not sure when that’ll be. I’m not surprised, and I’m glad I get enough that Johan still can get carers allowance in the meantime (as getting nothing would have messed everything up due to the way our finances work), but it’s a bit ridiculous really. The report was full of lies, and they’ve still not told me how I’m meant to walk without standing as I really want to know so I can get out of bed by myself!
  • New care agency has been sorted, and started. It’s so much better than the old one. It’s weird having two carer workers on an evening, but unless it’s a task requiring two people (basically hoisting) normally one does stuff in another room while the other does my personal care. Other than asking for one particular care worker not to come unless it’s an emergency (she’s not bad, just not really suited to me), I’ve been getting on with everyone fine, and I have a pair who are probably my favourites that I see several times a week. I also get rotas which makes things much easier, and the lunchtime call means Johan worries about me less when at his day service. It’s already saved him having to come home at least once 😛
  • We got the new day bed! Only problem is it’s a bit low down so need to find the elephant feet for it (I have some in the flat somewhere, just not sure where). I’ve been in the living room a few times, but not as frequently as I’d like for various reasons.
  • We had a power cut. I managed to report it online (I have backup internet through my phone for these occasions). My normal bed wasn’t flat but the hoists are battery powered and the new day bed is, so Johan took me into the living room when we were told it was going to be a few hours to fix it. I ended up spending the night in there.
  • Power cut told us our burglar alarm (which we don’t know how to use) is broken. When the power came back on it kept going off and it wouldn’t accept the code (the only bit of information we have about the alarm). Housing repair person came out and fixed it, then said we need to ask for a new battery. Due to the lack of people turning up to fit a new battery, I think Johan has forgotten to ask for it.
  • I survived the noise due to new earphones I bought. They’re Bose QC20s and the noise cancelling is amazing. For most noises it’s better even than the earplug/ear defender combo, and I can put ear defenders on top. Definitely not cheap at all, but considering how noise sensitive I am, definitely worth the price.
  • I’ve been out once so far this year, at the end of February. I tried to find a suitable hat, failed, but did find a visor. Bought that instead, then had dinner with Johan. Was nice, though noisy. Hoping to repeat it at some point.
  • No showers yet. Felt up to it a couple of times, but Johan wasn’t available. I’m really hoping it’ll be soon.
  • Two hair washes so far. One at the beginning of February, one last week. Had to explain to new care worker that I don’t need anti dandruff shampoo, the dry skin is just because I don’t get it washed or brushed very often.
  • Upstairs neighbours are no longer there. The circumstances were very much not good, but I’m grateful that I don’t have to listen to the arguing, music and noise anymore. They seem to be clearing the flat out today.
  • Brain is still refusing to work properly. Making silly mistakes when trying to do online shopping, and needing Johan to help me with online forms. It’s very frustrating as I used to be good at that stuff.
  • My body is still evil. I sleep a lot. I need a lot of cyclizine. Nothing much has changed there.

Games stuff separate as only I’m interested:

  • When I can get on puter, I’m playing WoW still. Loving the patch 7.2 stuff, though annoyed I miss invasions, buildings being up and stuff. Finally ran my first heroic this morning, and only only one other person died (I missed a mechanic that one shot me due to not having done the dungeon before). Maybe I’ll get those quests I’ve had for months done at some point.
  • I’ve stopped playing a lot of my mobile games as wasn’t enjoying them as much. Picked up a few replacements. Mostly playing 1010!, Fishdom, Godville, I Love Hue and Neko Atsume. Godville is the best as it’s a zero player game so I don’t need to do anything if I don’t want to (though I can do stuff to try and influence my heroine if I want). Also playing Word Cookies but Johan is so much better than me, and it overheats my tablet so it turns off.
  • I played a bit of Stardew Valley on puter, but put it on hold again until I’m caught up a bit with WoW stuff. It’s fun but I had to use a mod to make fishing much easier as it was impossible before.
  • I miss playing any first person games. I really hope they stop making me dizzy soon.
Danni

Brain broked but stuff happened

Autism, Computers, Danni, Gaming, M.E., Mental Health, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life, World of Warcraft

Physically I have got better. Cognitively I have got worse. This is not unexpected but very annoying. I am struggling to understand even simple things like my bank account and emails.

Because of this, Johan is now my Appointee when it comes to the DWP. This means he’s responsible for contacting them, filling in forms, and my money now goes into his account (which he then sends to mine because the bills come out of it, but when we’re able he’s going to be added to my account so he can manage it as well). We were worried that they’d say I didn’t need an appointee but instead they asked why it had taken so long. It was very hard for me to admit that I needed that help, and as soon as I’m consistently well enough to manage it Johan is going to hand control back to me.

Johan had his PIP renewal. We were a bit scared as it was only a 6 page “has anything changed” form and then we didn’t hear anything for weeks, but it’s been renewed again at the same rates so we don’t need to worry for now. My DLA to PIP transfer is in progress- we’ve now got the form that Johan needs to fill in. He says it’ll be easier than filling in his own, and he even managed the phone call to initiate it okay. We’re going for our usual tactic of sending tons of supporting evidence (mostly my care plans, where it says they’ll find me in bed both calls) and hope it goes smoothly.

As I’ve been doing better physically I have been out of bed a bit. I’ve been in the living room and to Newcastle (I went to the yarn shop! I bought yarn!). I saw Snow Dogs and they are awesome. I also went to the local park for the fireworks display and it was good, though people kept climbing over me while we were in the queue for food (we think they didn’t realise how long the chair was so thought there was a gap when there wasn’t). I wore my penguin onesie and was nice and warm. I’m definitely glad I managed to go, and hope to go next year. We’re planning on putting lights on my chair and skipping the food queues though 🙂

I have a shower chair now so I’ve had two showers! Showers take a lot out of me and the chair isn’t quite supportive or padded enough but person from CFS team has suggested using towels to make it better and we’re going to try that. I am so glad that it’s here now though. The main thing stopping me using it is not being awake and well enough at the same time Johan is available to shower me.

Last week we finally got my new hoist slings with head support. I’ve tried them and they make it so much easier and mean my head no longer flops backwards and my neck doesn’t get sore! We’re not sure if one will fit in my normal going out changing bag, but if not I’ll just get a bigger one.

I saw mental health team. They can’t help me because I’m not at high enough risk. Blegh. I’m both glad that I’m not that ill mentally, and frustrated that they couldn’t help even with suggestions. Last night fireworks going off made me really out of it, but I was also able to describe what was going on to Johan (he was with me at the time). I think it’s the first time I’ve been able to do that, explain what’s going on in my brain while it’s happening, but I don’t know how to stop it and I was exhausted afterwards and slept all night then all day. That was not in the plan.

I went to the local hospital for a smear test and coil change. Was funny the first time I went as they didn’t know I’d be in a stretcher, most of the information they had was wrong, and they didn’t know where to put me. They figured it out though (they had a second waiting room that had a curtained off bit- they put me there with a guard nurse at the door) and the doctor took my smear. I went back a few weeks later for the smear to be repeated as the first one didn’t have enough cells, and this time the doctor changed my coil as well as he didn’t want me having to go back there again. The second time they had two rooms ready for me- one in case I could stay on the stretcher like the first time, and since I couldn’t (the ambulance guys needed it for other people) they kicked a doctor out of his office so I could go on the only bed in the department that lies flat. It wasn’t exactly fun, but the coil change went about as well as it could have and I was in less pain than the day before, so I appreciate that. My second smear came back normal so I don’t need to worry for 3 years now, and 5 years for the coil. I’ve been a bit crampy and moody since but hopefully that’ll calm down in the next few weeks.

I have a hospital appointment at the beginning of December about my dental surgery. It’s going to be at a further away hospital, which will be the furthest I’ve travelled in over 4 years. Hopefully it won’t take too much longer after that to have my broken teeth removed- one of them has had a temporary filling in for over a year.

I’ve been playing a lot of World of Warcraft since Legion came out. I’ve done all the current quest lines, got all three artifacts for my Priest, and am concentrating on levelling my Discipline one. I’m okay doing most World Quests, LFR and normal dungeons. I’m too scared to try heroic or mythic dungeons yet, though since I have a 853 item level I am geared enough. Part of the problem is that I don’t really know how to heal with the new Disc system- in LFR it doesn’t matter too much if I’m not sure what I’m doing as there are other healers, but in a dungeon I’m the only one. I’m considering learning Holy for it, but I think I need my brain to work better first. WoW is a lot of fun though, and I’m glad I’m able to spend a decent amount of time in it (mostly at night while Johan is asleep).

The biggest problem my cognitive issues is causing is I can’t initiate conversation now. I can know what I need to say and who I need to say it to, but without a prompt I just can’t do it, and I don’t know how to explain that. Replying to someone is easier but still really difficult, especially if I don’t know the person that well. I’m also muddling up or forgetting words and stuff much more these days, which if nothing else gives Johan something to laugh at (as he hears most of them). It’s so frustrating needing to do something but not actually being able to do it, even though I technically know how.

Johan is now very busy. He’s in Newcastle 3-4 times a week now, and he’s taken up running so does the 5k park runs most Saturday mornings, and goes to the gym when he can to do more running. If I’m asleep at the wrong times, I sometimes don’t see him for more than a few minutes while he sorts me out in between stuff and sleeping. Both the exercise and being out regularly is helping him a lot, and what he’s doing now might lead to a career in the future. I struggle quite a bit if I’m awake while he’s out, but it’s mostly feeling vulnerable- if something happens, I can’t do anything about it. It also means my pads leak more which isn’t fun. We’ve asked our social worker to change the call times so I’m not left alone for quite as long (the morning call moved to lunchtime so Johan can sort me out before he leaves then the carer can sort me out a few hours later) and also for the evening call to be made much later so I don’t need to cancel it whenever I’m able to go out. He’s put the request in but I don’t know how long it’ll take.

The agency finally stopped trying to send the bad carer in October. It took my social worker putting it in the contract not to send her before they’d stop. I’ve had several carers say they’d happily do those calls if asked, so it’s not that no-one wants to deal with me, but they kept insisting she was the only person available. I’ve still not heard anything about my official complaint (that I put in during July) so once everything else has calmed down we’ve got that to chase up. It’s the usual problems we’re having with the care agency now- most of the carers are lovely and do their best, but there’s a complete lack of organisation and communication, and I still don’t get rotas so get panicky every weekend as I don’t know who’s coming.

At some point I need to see my GP as my antiemetic has started causing tachycardia and palpitations, which stops me sleeping and is very uncomfortable. I can reduce my heart rate manually for a bit (by holding my breath and tensing my muscles- I discovered it myself years ago when I thought I was panicking but was actually having POTS attacks, and it turns out it’s an actual treatment) but it eventually goes back up and the palpitations stay. I’ve been on it for several years without problem so I’m really annoyed this has started now, as it was the third one I tried and I really like not vomiting. Hopefully we can fit it in around Johan being out all the time.

I’ve now written a blog post that’s too long for me to read. That’s probably a sign I should publish it. Hopefully there aren’t any massive mistakes in it.

Danni

Penguins Are Still The Best

Autism, Computers, Danni, Gaming, M.E., Mental Health, Physical Disability, Real Life, World of Warcraft

It’s been a busy couple of months. I currently have an actual social worker, and he sorted out a care home (which went well) and is helping to try and sort out the care agency problems I’m having. They’re still sending that particular care worker that I can’t cope with, so I’m now panicking a lot and not having stuff I need doing done. My main care workers have complained, I put in an official complaint (which I’ve heard nothing about) and my social worker has complained, but they keep sending her. I’m not sure what to do as I’m spending all my energy on panicking instead of useful or fun stuff.

Johan went to Sweden and he had a very good time. I went into the care home I requested (as the previous one couldn’t take me due to renovation work) and though there were a few communication issues overall it went about as well as it could. I even managed two baths which was amazing! I managed to make a pair of slipper socks while in there, watched the ESA Marathon that Johan was in Sweden for, and went to a open day for the floor upstairs from where I was staying and stole two helium balloons. I also slept a lot and had to reassure the staff that was normal.

Since then I managed to go out for my sister’s birthday, which was the same day as our 6th wedding anniversary. We went for a meal in Newcastle which was nice. I had Chinese starters and a couple of desserts as I was too slow and full for a main 🙂 It’s the first family event I’ve managed to make in a long time so I’m really happy I was able to go out for it.

I bought a Haribo cake for our anniversary, which we started yesterday. It is rather yummy and doesn’t have icing on that Johan doesn’t like, but does have sweets on top. Haribo Starmix are Johan’s favourite sweets at the moment, so it works well for both of us. 

Since I got home from the care home I’ve seen my social worker again, and have got dates for changing my coil and seeing the community mental health team. For the CMHT I got a bit worried when they said it was in a clinic, as I wasn’t sure I could manage talking for an hour and a half at the same time as sitting up (both use energy and mine is limited). Luckily they phoned Johan and told us that it was going to be at home so I don’t need to worry about not fainting in my chair, just on being able to manage an assessment for 90 minutes. I’m hoping they have some ideas on how to cope with stuff that affects me but I have no control over, because panicking and having meltdowns (they’re different) are both extremely exhausting even when you don’t have a chronic illness. 

The best thing that’s happened this month is seeing Sammie today 🙂 She came over to bring me presents from her holiday and chatting to her is amazing, as is being able to cuddle her in real life. I’m so proud of how she’s doing so well. Johan worries about her, especially when she stays up past her bedtime. It’s quite funny how he’ll keep reminding us what time it is. She’s still growing and is visibly taller than Johan now. I don’t think it’ll be too much longer before she’s taller than me.

I enjoyed watching the Olympics when it was on. I mostly saw some of the artistic gymnastics as I wasn’t well enough to watch all I wanted to see, and I was really impressed by Simone Biles and how she flies through the air. I’m looking forward to the Paralympics and hoping to watch a lot of that. Just need to have the energy to manage it.

When I get on my computer I’m mostly playing World of Warcraft. I’ve pre-ordered the Collector’s Edition of Legion, and if I’m going to be awake and well enough for launch I’ll get the digital version so I can play immediately, but if I’m not I’ll wait until the box arrives. I’ve been enjoying doing the prelaunch invasions and quests, and hopefully I’ll figure out how to DPS heal as a discipline priest before I get too far in. Johan has been levelling loads of characters through invasions and he’s not sure which one will be his main, or his first to level 110.

On my tablet I’m mostly playing Minesweeper. It’s slower and a bit harder than on PC as you don’t have separate buttons for flagging and uncovering, but I’ve managed to get under 200 seconds on expert which makes me happy. I’m still playing most of my other mobile games but only in bits and pieces. I’m also reading a lot of Reddit when I’m not feeling up to much, as it doesn’t matter if I lose track of what I’m doing. I hope to get back to reading books when things calm down. I’m still happy though, and have many plans that I’m working on 🙂

Danni

Penguins are Best Birbs

Blizzard, Danni, Gaming, Loom Bands, M.E., NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life, World of Warcraft

I’m currently watching the Edinburgh Zoo Penguin Cam and there’s a baby Gentoo chick that’s been born. It’s so adorable, though we don’t get to see it much as the parents keep it hidden under their bellies. I also watched Penguin A+E last night and that was amazing. I love that they were taking such good care of the African penguins and they made the one that was starving big and fat again 😀

I think I’m not doing too bad at the moment. I’ve been in my chair more, going to Nando’s one night and last Thursday going out to vote then to the local shop. I’m going into the living room more frequently, and it’s almost tidy enough so I’ll be able to lie on the mattress in there (the daybed still needs to be built). I love being in the same room as Johan, so we can talk while doing our own things (him on his computer, me on my tablet). I think the weather calming down (and being nicer) has helped, as when it changes all my symptoms get worse, so when it was being really erratic I was in a lot of pain and very grumpy. I hope the nice weather stays for a bit, as I’m enjoying not being too bad for me.

Sleep has been all over the place. Sometimes getting very little, sometimes like yesterday sleeping for nearly 16 hours. This means I’m not able to plan anything, as I don’t know if I’ll be awake. That nearly 16 hour period of sleeping I did manage about 11 hours of actual sleep, which is a big improvement over the 5-6 hours I normally manage most times. I think I needed it.

My nausea levels have been a bit more bearable, which means I’ve been taking less cyclizine. I hate taking cyclizine as it makes me dopey and out of it, but I hate vomiting more, so as my nausea had been so bad the last few months I was taking it regularly. A downside we’ve found to not taking it is my appetite is back down to very little, so I’m not feeling hungry as much and when I do it doesn’t take long until I’m full. I definitely think it’s the reason I’m no longer underweight (one of the side effects for me is increased appetite, beyond that of just being less nauseous) so we’ll have to keep an eye on things. I’m not taking it unless I need it for nausea as I like knowing what’s going on and the brain fog is bad enough without it, but if it becomes an issue I’ll speak to my GP about it.

I’ve been working on my loom band stuff again recently, though many of them haven’t worked (I was making a bag and it fell apart as I was trying to repair a mistake). I have managed a purple penguin headband though, which I’m happy with. I’m hoping to look into loom knitting when I get some yarn as it’s very similar, but when looking for yarn I got completely overwhelmed so haven’t managed to get any yet. All I know is that chunky yarn is best for loom knitting a scarf, which is the first thing I want to try and make. I have got the attachments needed to make some loom band lanyards, so I’ll be trying that next I think. First though I need to sort out one of my boxes, as Johan managed to knock it over and mix all the bands up. The good thing is I really enjoy sorting so it’s been quite nice working on getting them organised. Still got some way to go, but I think they may be more sorted than they were originally once I’m done (one of the sections was glitter jelly bands and another neon bands, all in different colours, so I’ll be separating the colours out). I’m also partially through making a wallet, which will be awesome if I manage to finish it without it breaking before I’m done.

Last night I also watched the Eurovision Song Contest first semi final. I missed the first song as that’s when I was waking up, but Johan said I didn’t miss much. I liked all the sparklies, shinies and purple suits (so many awesome purple suits!) and Russia’s special effects in particular were amazing. I can’t remember what songs I liked, but I think at least one of them got through to the final (I really should have made notes). If I’m awake I’m wanting to watch the next semi final and then the final on Saturday, but just in case I’ve set them to record as I do like everything about it. I’ve been following someone on Twitter (@Scattermoon) who has been tweeting their journey to Stockholm to see Eurovision and it was amazing- I could imagine I was travelling with them. One day I’d love to travel across Europe by coach and train like they did 😀

It is ME awareness month/week/day this month (I think we’re currently in the week, and the day is tomorrow? I’m not sure). I’m not sure I’m up to posting anything in particular for it, but if I see anything particularly good then I’ll try and share it. ME is a horrible illness and some doctor’s still don’t believe it exists, or think it’s a form of somatoform disorder, when there’s now plenty of evidence that’s it’s a physical disease. There’s definitely a psychological component, especially since adrenaline can make symptoms worse, but that’s the case with most chronic illnesses. I’m lucky that mine seems to have stabilised now, but some people continue to get worse and can’t do the things I can.

The care agency seems to be improving a bit. The care worker who yelled at me and the manager(?) who came into my bedroom without permission or even telling me both no longer work for the agency. I’ve been told that only one manager (who knows me as she’s done my care calls before) is allowed to come to our flat for agency stuff, and she knows to phone Johan before coming. We also have an agreement I’m not going to have spot checks and that the key safe is only to be used for actual care calls. I have two main care workers now who do all my weekday calls and my Saturday morning call, but the other three (Saturday evening, Sunday morning and Sunday evening) are still random and I still don’t have  rota to tell me who it’s going to be. Last Saturday evening one of my normal care workers did the evening call, and though she had to come early for it that was okay as I knew in advance and I preferred that to having someone I don’t know very well. The care worker on Sunday morning is a mystery, as I was asleep and they didn’t write in the book (and also arrived at 9.15am for a 10am call) but the evening care worker was someone I’d had once before who I get on with well and just seems to get things without needing everything explaining in detail. It was also the first evening call in months that was actually at the right time (5.30pm instead of 5pm). That makes such a difference as it means I use a lot less energy trying to explain things and dealing with everything. I think things with the care agency calming down is partially why I’m able to get into my chair and go out more. All I need now is a rota, the evening calls to happen at the right time and for them to contact us about changes and I might be able to stop worrying about it.

I managed to play a bit of the Overwatch beta last week, playing as Mercy (a healer). I’m not very good, but it’s the first FPS I’ve actually enjoyed playing, which is awesome. If I continue to get on the computer regularly then I think I’ll be playing it quite a bit. Johan didn’t enjoy it quite as much, so probably won’t be buying it (I’ve already preordered it as I knew from the initial announcement I’d probably like it, and watching people play it confirmed that for me) but that’s okay as I’m sure I’ll be able to find people to play with. At the moment I’m only playing against the AI but at some point I’ll be brave enough to play against real people.

This morning I played a bit of World of Warcraft, working on the legendary ring for Danni. I’d got to the part where you need to get documents and eavesdrop on the Horde with Garona, which is known as probably the hardest part of the whole quest chain. I’d already tried (and failed) to complete it for over an hour previously, but this morning I managed it in about 20 minutes, though I ended up cheating and using my flying mount to bypass everyone. After I’d managed that I did all of Hellfire Citadel in LFR, getting 9 tomes this week. Since I need 33, that’s not too bad and if I can get on the computer every week, I should be able to complete the ring before Legion comes out in August. I’m looking forward to the film coming out, and I want to go and see it in the cinema but that might be a little bit optimistic (though I’d take earplugs and things to make it less overwhelming). If I can’t I guess I’ll have to wait until it’s available to download and then I’ll watch it. I’ve got the prequel book to read so I’m hoping to finish that before the film comes out.

I’m happy I’m able to do more. I’m not massively improved physically, but those small amounts of improvements where I’m less nauseous, more able to be semi-upright and able to tolerate a bit more light and sound make a massive difference in how much I’m able to do. I still have to be careful, as last week I made myself really ill by wiping my own leg with a baby wipe (I was doing okay, then I wiped myself and ended up really nauseous, dizzy and shaking). I’m not sure why such a small thing triggered such a large reaction as I normally get a bit more warning than that, but it was a reminder that I do need to be careful if I want to keep doing the stuff I enjoy. Hopefully I’ll keep managing a little bit more as time goes on so I’ll be able to do some of the bigger things, like go to the cinema or travelling to Leeds. Until then, I’ll follow other people’s journeys and imagine taking them myself 🙂

Danni

How Did It Get to April?

Autism, Blizzard, Computers, Danni, Diablo 3, Gaming, M.E., Mental Health, Penguins!, Physical Disability

The problem with sleeping a lot and randomly is that time somehow disappears so one day it’s February and then suddenly it’s the middle of April.

I’ve been very up and down the last few weeks. Still got issues with the care agency. ESA form is in so I’m waiting to hear if I’m still in the support group, and if so for how long. Some time spent on my computer but nowhere near as much as I’d like, and not at all for about two weeks until this week. I’ve not been in my chair much either, though did go into the living room for a bit and outside for 5 minutes to try and spot the International Space Station (and failed due to clouds) at the beginning of the month. I’m hoping to be able to go properly out again soon. Esther has moved out, as our flat was just too small for the three of us, especially with my health being affected by everything (she was a great flatmate, and her new place is better for work so I’m hoping it goes well for her).

Easter was good. Eggs and bunnies were bought and eaten. I managed to watch the church service on the telly which was awesome as I miss going to church. I’ve looked into inclusive church services that happen at a time that I can actually get to them (there’s no chance of me getting anywhere for 10am, especially on a Sunday) and I’ve found one that looks really promising, so when I have the spoons I’m hoping to email them about the stuff I need to know (how accessible is it, whether there’s a set routine or service I can learn and follow, how noisy it gets). Emails are hard even when I know what I want to say.

April is also autism awareness/acceptance month. I’ve done pretty much nothing for it, other than speak to my GP for help with my anxiety and ways of coping before I end up in meltdown (unfortunately happening all too regularly due to care agency stuff, like being yelled at by a care worker, or someone I don’t know letting themselves into our flat and into my bedroom with no notice, name or ID- the first I knew of it was when I rolled over and she was there, as I had earplugs in). I think this was the first time I’d told a doctor about my meltdowns, as when they happened once a year it wasn’t that important for them to know. It’s also in my care plan now, along with what to do (leave me alone and if Johan is in, get him- it might be scary seeing me hit or bite myself but I’m not likely to hurt myself too badly and the worst thing you can do is talk to me or try and touch me). Unfortunately most of my coping/prevention methods involve things I can’t do due to being so ill with ME, so I’m not sure what to do, especially when our ways of trying to prevent them (like telling the care agency not to use the key safe except for care calls, and to contact us in advance before turning up) are being ignored.

My GP was awesome as always. She seemed to understand that a meltdown is different from a panic attack (though I still get plenty of them, normally at night when the neighbours are arguing). She’s not got many ideas yet, but she’s going to see if there’s someone who understands autism who may be able to help me come up with some coping strategies. I don’t get why I’m so nervous about seeing her when she’s always so nice and tries to help, even though I’m not the easiest person in the world to deal with (yay neurological illness with no currently known effective treatment and communication difficulties due to autism!). She even sorted out an antihistamine prescription for Johan even though it was my appointment.

I’m still getting used to the side effects of cetirizine I’m taking for hay fever (even though there are no leaves on my tree yet there’s definitely pollen around). Mostly extra drowsiness and dopiness, though it might also be why I’m getting worse headaches than normal. Luckily it’s nothing that I can’t cope with and it’s worth it so my eyes aren’t as sore and itchy.

I got selected from the waitlist to buy Here Active Listening ear buds. They work well for what I want them for (turn down certain noises while still being able to hear what I want, such as turning down background noise while still being able to hear speech) but only when I can actually get them working with my tablet. Unfortunately the left one doesn’t seem to like turning on every time and I’ve had difficulties getting it to connect to my bluetooth, but I’m hoping that it’s just teething issues and they’ll work better soon.

I’ve also recently updated my tablet to Android Marshmallow from Lollipop. While doing so I took the time to encrypt it, so it’s now more secure (though I’ve also turned on smart lock so when I’m at home with it then it’ll automatically stay unlocked, as typing in the password every time would be too much for me). The only bug I’ve found is that the IR Blaster doesn’t seem to be working, which means I can no longer control my telly from my tablet. When I’m not able to press the buttons on the remote myself I’m needing Johan to do it for me. Hopefully that’ll be fixed soon, or I’ll have to look into a touchscreen remote control.

I’m getting excited for Overwatch coming out next month. I’m hoping I’ll be able to get on my computer to play it, as I preordered it. I’m probably going to be terrible but it looks fun anyhow. Today I managed to get my Diablo Wizard to level 70, which only took a couple of years. Hopefully I won’t take as long with my next character 😛

I’ve been enjoying watching the Penguin Cam at Edinburgh Zoo, which shows the gentoo penguins and their stone nests. Watching the penguins mate has been interesting, especially as they keep being interrupted by other penguins wanting to steal their stones while they’re doing so. There are quite a few eggs now and hopefully in the next month or so there will be some chicks. Until then there’s lots of stone stealing from nests, and occasionally the king penguins invade, especially at feeding time.