I Have a Heart

That’s a pretty good thing, since it’s a tad hard to live without one. Update post for future reference!

• Been rather wobbly the last few weeks. Catching a cold hasn’t helped. Could be worse, but frustrated not been able to go on puter and stuff as much as I’d like.
• Asked several different people (including different departments of council and housing company) to try and get help with tidying and asking why I not got a hoist yet. Everyone is shocked I don’t have one yet. Hopefully will get somewhere with something?
• One of our neighbours keeps spending money on things they’re putting in the communal areas that they’ve not got permission for. At least one of them they’ve been told not to do before. Housing officer going to investigate, and also make note on case about noise (as it’s still a problem).
• Saw new consultant about probable POTS on Monday (the 9th). Current conclusion is I probably have POTS 😛 Luckily she saw straight away that I’m too ill for the normal tests (they require standing, and I’m unable to sit for any real length of time) so she wants me to measure my heart rate daily for a bit, is asking the CFS team to see if they can help with that, and I might need to have a 24 hour monitor at some point. Then we’re going to try medication to see if it helps. Luckily she gets ME really well (which is good, since she researches it as well as POTS) so we skipped straight to the stuff I was able to do. She even checked I was okay to have my blood pressure taken (it was, and it was normal, as it usually is when I’m anxious- when I’m not it’s usually a bit low).
• Didn’t have any major problems with getting the stretcher ambulance organised, which is a first. They did say at first they wouldn’t be able to get a stretcher in here but they managed it in the end. This stretcher was comfier than the last one.
• Since I’m meant to be measuring my heart rate regularly, I treated myself to a new fancy oximeter (easiest way for me to check, plus helpful for when I’m breathless to see what’s going on). Need to read the destructions to check how to use the recording and uploading to puter features, but I’ve had a bit of a play since it arrived yesterday evening.
• When I feel my heart doing funky dances it shows as an irregular heart beat on the monitor. I’m pretty sure it’s nothing serious, but it’s reassuring to know I’m not just imagining it.
• My heart rate goes all over the place. At my normal kinda rest, it goes between 80 and 105 bpm. My normal oxygen level is between 90-98% (I’ve turned the alarms off on this one, as the old one used to go off whenever it got to 93% or lower). I’m guessing at least some of the lower ones are due to bad circulation. I’ve not been breathless with it on yet.
• Things that increase my heart rate are moving, holding Johan’s hand, increased pain, talking and farting. Also trying to take deep breaths increases my heart rate to over 100bpm and reduces my oxygen level down to about 90% consistently, which I think is the opposite of what’s supposed to happen.
• Things that reduce my heart rate are thinking of penguins, lying quietly, and holding my breath (which doesn’t reduce my oxygen level until after a minute). Explains why I hold my breath during a panic attack (and with the above, why being told to breathe makes things worse).
• Random fact: before I got ill I used to practice holding my breath for fun. At my best I could manage nearly 5 minutes, and just before I got ME I could manage 3 1/2. I’m still able to hold it for 45-70 seconds before I start feeling like I need to breathe. I used to scare people with it 😛 I thank my larger than average lung capacity and singing lessons.
• I managed my puter for a little bit last night. Managed to sort my budget for the month and then went into World of Warcraft, where I died a ridiculous amount of times trying to do a Harrison Jones daily. I didn’t even manage to complete it before the daily reset 🙁 I’m hoping when it shows up again it’ll skip to where I was, but I’ve got a feeling I’ll need to start again. It’ll be easier if my brain is working better though.
• Sleep has been excessive and random. I don’t have any kind of pattern to it. With having a cold though I’m just going with it, though would like to be awake when the care workers are here more often. Trying to force it though makes me more ill, as does waking me up when I’m not ready.
• I have had my bedding changed and hair washed, though I really regretted the latter as it made me feel horrendous. I wanted it clean for going out though. I had my own pillow and duvet on the stretcher which was good as it was freezing outside (and I got to see some frost).
• Communication is still an issue. I need to be well enough to figure out how to teach the care workers to communicate with me when it’s difficult. Asking them to offer me suggestions of what they can do and not ask me what I want doing hasn’t worked.
• I’ve had some grumpy days recently, but I think most of that is due to having a cold (plus running out of chocolate when I was craving some). I’m still happy most of the time though 🙂

I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be. I think seeing outside my bedroom will keep me going for a bit 🙂