Category: Mental Health

Danni

The Feels

Computers, Danni, Gaming, Hearthstone, M.E., Mental Health, NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life, World of Warcraft

Watched Doctor Who with Esther. Too many feels. Argh that episode. *Sniff*

Anxiety is still bad but I managed to let the carers help me a bit today. I know what my brain is telling me is completely irrational but it’s hard to argue with your own brain. I went on my computer and managed to organise some tickets to see the Enchanted Park next month, even sending emails to sort out a carer ticket and why mine was broken. Also played some World of Warcraft where the guild boosted me through heroic Archimonde so I’ll be able to get a moose mount. Thank you Trivial 🙂

Also tried the Tavern Brawl in Hearthstone with Sammie. She was winning then I got a great set of cards which changed it so I won. Hopefully we’ll get another game in before it finishes.

Got out of bed while evening carer was here so my bedding could be changed. It was nice 🙂 Johan gave me hugs from behind. Stayed in my chair for about an hour.

Digestive system is now being very mean to me so I’m gonna curl up in a ball and ask for penguins to be heated. That seems like a good idea. If anyone knows how to make a brain stop telling me I’m evil, please let me know.

Danni

Anxiety Pwns Joo

Danni, Loom Bands, M.E., Mental Health, NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life

Anxiety is ebil. Not being able to sleep at night because scared someone will break in or have a violent fight or other silly things that aren’t likely but my brain insists will happen when I’m asleep. I stayed awake for the morning carer and no-one showed up. It was about 12pm before I managed to fall asleep.

Being asleep most of the day means I’ve done nothing productive. Pain levels have been higher than normal and I’m not sure why. I need to do a food shop but it requires more brain power than I have right now. Decided I’m not getting out of bed until Friday and we have a plan for if I’m still hurting so much then.

I’m getting a bit obsessed with Neko Atsume. My current strategy is to buy the most expensive items first. I’m starting to get lots of mementos which is awesome 🙂

Johan is helping by sitting in my room, dosing me up on painkillers and heating penguins. We found a hole in Nicky’s wing so I’ve bought her a new body and Patricia (Johan’s penguin) is helping in the meantime. I’ve noticed it’s the newer penguins developing holes which is concerning. I hope the new one lasts longer. I also took the opportunity to buy noise cancelling headphones, a second Rainbow Loom and 2100 loom bands for 46p. The advantage of getting into it late 🙂

I’m ho
I’m hoping tomorrow will be better. At least there are penguins 🙂

Danni

Zombified Danni

Autism, Danni, Gaming, M.E., Mental Health, NaBloPoMo, Physical Disability, Real Life

Had a very long sleep- from just after 8pm last night to 9.40am this morning. Unfortunately I’ve been feeling rather zombified and boaty today, so not been able to do much. What doesn’t help is my index finger on my left hand is sore from holding in the power button on my tablet yesterday. I’ve also been in more pain than is normal for me which is making me a tad grumpy.

Had two decent carers today. Yay! We got a phone call from the agency (Communication! Yay!) saying it would be a new carer and she’d be here about 10.30am as the one I was meant to have had called in sick, then the carer arrived just after 10am so we were a bit confused but it was okay. Had bacon for breakfast as Johan had dropped the last two duck eggs 😛

Spent most of the day reading articles online and blog posts, with a bit of tablet game playing as well. Luckily I’d backed up all my apps before changing the rom on my tablet so I didn’t lose any progress 🙂

Ow. Someone just slammed the communal door and the noise has made me lose my voice 🙁 Boo. Hopefully it’ll come back soon. Also made me nauseous but I’m hoping not to need cyclizine because I’m zombie enough.

The evening carer was one of my favourite ones from this agency. She made me salmon and chips for tea and helped me get into pyjamas and stuff. Was good. She’s meant to be coming on Friday evening so I was able to warn her I might not be in as seeing Becca. I hope the zombiness is gone by then.

I probably shouldn’t have started reading The Shock of the Fall by Nathan Filer yesterday. I thought it was one of my young adult dystopian books, not one about someone with mental illness. What I’ve read is good but maybe I’ll save finishing it for when I’m a bit less anxious and panicky. I read Among the Hidden by Margaret Peterson Haddix before that which I’d been wanting to read for years. That was good and I’m wanting to continue the series.

Brains. Grr. Argh.

Danni

Whisper

Danni, M.E., Mental Health, NaBloPoMo, Physical Disability, Real Life

I can kinda speak again now, but only in a whisper. To get normal volume I feel like I’m shouting. Not ideal but better than nothing.

I’m writing this blog while on my way into Gateshead, at 11.30pm. Hoping that being out will make me feel a bit better as I’ve been miserable for a few days. It’s very bouncy and Johan is laughing at my typos.

I spent most of yesterday afternoon through to this afternoon asleep, with a couple of hours here and there in a drowsy state. It seems to have made me better physically at least. I’ve also made a new loom band bracelet that took a while but looks like a good design to adapt into a belt. For those who know loom band stuff, it’s a triple fishtail.

Tomorrow I see the CFS team. I’m hoping it goes well. Now in Tesco so it’s less bumpy, and there are broken Kindles again. I’m not buying my new one here 😛