Category: Penguins!

Danni

Merry Christmas!

Autism, Computers, Danni, Gaming, M.E., Minecraft, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life

To all my readers and friends, Merry Christmas! Or if you celebrate something else or nothing at all, I hope you have a wonderful day!

I’ve had an awesome Christmas so far. Yesterday Sammie came over for a bit to pick up her presents, which meant real life hugs and squishes were had 😀 Best present ever!

Today I’ve been completely spoilt with masses of presents, from lots of family and friends. I’ve been unable to get all mine to others sorted in time for Christmas this year, but I’m hoping to get those I’ve missed within the next week or two. My favourite was a gift from Sammie- she made a ornament of us two as penguins, me being purple and her being pink, hugging each other. Me being a purple penguin and her being a pink penguin has been our thing now for many years, so it means a lot to me. She also got me new penguin bedding and a matching cushion which are super cute 😀

Johan had bought me a telly for Christmas a few months ago, but surprised me with a Pingu ball (Hafu Pingu rather than telly Pingu), and Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle soft toys. My sister Meggy had visited a few days ago and she gave me an amazing super soft penguin which I love to stroke. My other sister Becca gave me some awesome penguin pyjamas and penguin stickers. Esther gave me some penguin fuzzy socks (I love fuzzy socks!) and an awesome penguin Christmas jumper. Other presents included penguin stationery, a loom band penguin and money/gift cards. Very very spoilt Danni 😀

I also saw my brother on Christmas Eve, which was a lovely surprise. I’ve spent most of the day on Skype with Sammie, sometimes playing Minecraft (with her and her friend), sometimes just talking. I’m so grateful that I’m well enough to speak to her, be on my computer, listen to a few Christmas carols and songs and hopefully later have Christmas dinner. I even managed to speak to my mum-in-law on the phone for a minute. Now is time to rest and hopefully I’ll continue to have a good day 😀

Danni

Completed NaBloPoMo!

Computers, Danni, Gaming, M.E., NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life, World of Warcraft

I’ve managed to blog for 30 days in a row. It was hard, but luckily this year there were no relapses to get in the way (though I still have that rotten cold…). I’m really happy to have managed it. My hope is to continue blogging regularly, though not necessarily everyday from now on. It feels good to write here.

Yesterday was an okay day until I discovered a hole in Penguin. He had been burnt and some of his filling was falling out from his back. We think it was an accident by one of the carers but it means he can no longer be heated up to help me with pain. He’s now sitting next to Penelope on the purple penguin throne (my old commode with purple fabric on it) and Johan has bought me another penguin to do his old job. He says he’s enjoying retirement, and Patricia, Johan’s penguin, is helping me until the new one arrives.

Today wasn’t great when I first woke up. During the night I woke up because I was peeing but was too tired to wake Johan up to change my pad, so it was close to leaking this morning. Luckily it didn’t, but I was really tired and in quite a bit of pain. I had a roast pork ready meal and that was quite nice for something microwaved, and after the evening carer had been I felt well enough to go on my computer. Didn’t get to speak to Sammie much as she was in the bath when I got on and at 7pm there was a meeting for my World of Warcraft guild about raids and stuff I wanted to attend. I did find out she’s enjoying the Sims 4 though which is awesome, and hopefully I’ll be able to talk to her properly within the next few days.

Since my brain wasn’t working properly I’ve only really done my garrison stuff and then fished in WoW today. Yesterday I attempted to do my first heroic but I just wasn’t well enough to manage it cognitively. I think I’ll be waiting until everyone else is overgeared for it and ask them to boost me 😛 I’m gearing up through my follower’s missions and still have some rares to kill and quests to complete in Nagrand. The fishing was fun  and relaxing. I’m hoping to get a level 3 fishing shack by the end of next week by getting 100 of each type of enormous fish in Draenor. I’ve already done two of them so it feels doable if I can manage enough computer time 🙂

It is the first day of Advent. The carer tried to correct me and tell me it was tomorrow, but it turns out she didn’t know it started 4 Sundays before Christmas. I’m going to start planning for Christmas properly now, including figuring out where I’m going to put my Christmas tree. I’ve got an idea but I’ll need some tidying up doing first 😛 I wish I could have gone to church but that’s rather unrealistic at the moment. I’ll try and watch the Christmas Day service on the telly though.

Apart from Penguin being burnt I’m happy. I feel really lucky overall, despite being pretty ill. I can do so much more than I could this time last year, even if I am still in bed not really able to sit up properly yet. I’m hoping that this year I’ll not relapse over Christmas and that way I can enjoy it properly. I’m going to see if I can get my Christmas jumper out soon. It has a penguin on it 🙂

Danni

Vampires

Danni, M.E., Minecraft, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life, World of Warcraft

Less sad today. Still don’t know why I was yesterday but never mind. Today was an okay day, though had an unexpected visit from someone wanting some blood, sent by my GP. I’m not entirely sure why but went through with it.

There is so much I want to do in WoW and I’ve not enough time/energy to do it all 😛 I’m so grateful I’ve been able to get on my computer so often though. I also played some Minecraft with Sammie and her friend which was fun, even though my sound sensitivity made it more draining than usual. There’s My Little Pony comics on Humble Bundle I might have to get as presents.

Fed up of the pain from eating. Is so tempting to stop completely, but I’m already malnourished and losing weight so it’s a bad idea. Today it was plain chicken breast and salad that set it off. Yesterday a sandwich (and later on a wrap). The day before, sweet potato chips and a milkshake. Pretty much anything that isn’t pure sugar and that’s dodgy too. I know wholewheat and really fibrous stuff is the worst, as it just clogs me up rather than helping things along, plus the pain is worse. Yet they include some of my favourite foods 🙁 When I’m well enough I should probably get some tests done to find out what’s going on, as even with the domperidone I’m still bringing up bacon from yesterday’s wrap.

What’s it like to be pain-free? I don’t remember. I’ve been in pain of varying amounts since I was 5 with no real let up. Maybe earlier, but my memory is fuzzy from before then. When I was a kid it was mostly reflux and joint pain (dismissed as growing pains, though they didn’t stop after I stopped growing). I didn’t even know it wasn’t normal. Now I’m just relieved I can get it down to bearable levels with tramadol. Dunno what I’d do if I couldn’t, other than be lying in bed unable to do what I can now. I’m grateful I can do what I can.

Penguins are awesome. Saw baby penguins on Facebook today, sent by a friend. They took away the rest of the sad from last night. Sometimes I just need to remember to be more like a penguin. Noop Noop!

Danni

Being Sad

Danni, NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Real Life

Today I am sad. I don’t know why. I can’t think of anything of anything in particular I’m sad about. I’m just sad. Being sad is unusual for me, especially without a reason. I’m not really wanting to do anything, which is very much unlike me. But it’s okay. Sometimes being sad happens, and I’ll be okay in the end. I still have penguins, even if they’re not cheering me up like they normally do. Today I am sad, but that’s okay.

Danni

Downsides to Being Danni

Autism, Computers, Danni, M.E., NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life

Yesterday I wrote a blog post, but forgot to publish it before sleeping. Fixed now, but I was a silly sausage.

I’m normally a very happy Danni. Penguins, friends, family, technology, purple, all awesome things that make me happy. There are some things that I don’t like about being me, some coming from being ill, others from being Autistic and Dyspraxic, and some combined to make smaller issues bigger.

One of the main ones is struggling to communicate with friends and family. There are several things that cause this to be an issue. The first is unless prompted, I forget people (and things) exist. Luckily these days there’s friend lists on Facebook and similar, but I’m unable to name all my friends and family without some form of prompt. I love them all dearly, it’s a quirk of my memory that’s been made much worse by being ill. I have to keep reminders around so I never forget who Sammie (my daughter) is. I imagine most people don’t forget their own immediate family, but I do. I find frequent Facebook statuses, tweets and stuff really helpful to remember who people are 🙂

I’m also pretty face blind. I don’t recognise myself in the mirror, and remember other people by hair, clothing style, voice and movement. I do better with photographs, but have thought pictures of my sister were me before. If someone drastically changes their hair style, especially without warning, it can take me a while to get used to their new one. This is less of a problem now I rarely see people face to face but it’s still frustrating.

I struggle to initiate conversation, even with people I really like and know well. Not because I don’t care about them, but because I don’t know what to say. I was getting better at this but then I got ill and it’s bad again. I really appreciate when others start a conversation with me because replying is much easier. Unfortunately since I became really ill I’m not always up to long conversations, but I’m hoping that will improve soon.

I’ve got a type of hearing problem where I can’t hear speech properly when there’s background noise. My actual hearing is better than average (I can hear things most other people can’t) but I can’t filter what I hear so have everything coming through, which is exhausting. I lip read to some extent which helps a bit but in a noisy room I simply can’t hear someone speaking. This is also a major part of why I can’t use the phone – I have no visual clues to help me and the line or background noise makes it nearly impossible to understand what’s being said. When I try it takes so much energy I’m completely exhausted afterwards and have relapsed because of it.

I’m tired now so I’ll leave it there, but understanding these are difficulties I have due to disability rather than being lazy or weak makes it much easier to deal with and means I can concentrate on workarounds to these issues. I’m still awesome, despite my problems 🙂