Category: Penguins!

Danni

Completed NaBloPoMo!

Computers, Danni, Gaming, M.E., NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life, World of Warcraft

I’ve managed to blog for 30 days in a row. It was hard, but luckily this year there were no relapses to get in the way (though I still have that rotten cold…). I’m really happy to have managed it. My hope is to continue blogging regularly, though not necessarily everyday from now on. It feels good to write here.

Yesterday was an okay day until I discovered a hole in Penguin. He had been burnt and some of his filling was falling out from his back. We think it was an accident by one of the carers but it means he can no longer be heated up to help me with pain. He’s now sitting next to Penelope on the purple penguin throne (my old commode with purple fabric on it) and Johan has bought me another penguin to do his old job. He says he’s enjoying retirement, and Patricia, Johan’s penguin, is helping me until the new one arrives.

Today wasn’t great when I first woke up. During the night I woke up because I was peeing but was too tired to wake Johan up to change my pad, so it was close to leaking this morning. Luckily it didn’t, but I was really tired and in quite a bit of pain. I had a roast pork ready meal and that was quite nice for something microwaved, and after the evening carer had been I felt well enough to go on my computer. Didn’t get to speak to Sammie much as she was in the bath when I got on and at 7pm there was a meeting for my World of Warcraft guild about raids and stuff I wanted to attend. I did find out she’s enjoying the Sims 4 though which is awesome, and hopefully I’ll be able to talk to her properly within the next few days.

Since my brain wasn’t working properly I’ve only really done my garrison stuff and then fished in WoW today. Yesterday I attempted to do my first heroic but I just wasn’t well enough to manage it cognitively. I think I’ll be waiting until everyone else is overgeared for it and ask them to boost me 😛 I’m gearing up through my follower’s missions and still have some rares to kill and quests to complete in Nagrand. The fishing was fun  and relaxing. I’m hoping to get a level 3 fishing shack by the end of next week by getting 100 of each type of enormous fish in Draenor. I’ve already done two of them so it feels doable if I can manage enough computer time 🙂

It is the first day of Advent. The carer tried to correct me and tell me it was tomorrow, but it turns out she didn’t know it started 4 Sundays before Christmas. I’m going to start planning for Christmas properly now, including figuring out where I’m going to put my Christmas tree. I’ve got an idea but I’ll need some tidying up doing first 😛 I wish I could have gone to church but that’s rather unrealistic at the moment. I’ll try and watch the Christmas Day service on the telly though.

Apart from Penguin being burnt I’m happy. I feel really lucky overall, despite being pretty ill. I can do so much more than I could this time last year, even if I am still in bed not really able to sit up properly yet. I’m hoping that this year I’ll not relapse over Christmas and that way I can enjoy it properly. I’m going to see if I can get my Christmas jumper out soon. It has a penguin on it 🙂

Danni

Vampires

Danni, M.E., Minecraft, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life, World of Warcraft

Less sad today. Still don’t know why I was yesterday but never mind. Today was an okay day, though had an unexpected visit from someone wanting some blood, sent by my GP. I’m not entirely sure why but went through with it.

There is so much I want to do in WoW and I’ve not enough time/energy to do it all 😛 I’m so grateful I’ve been able to get on my computer so often though. I also played some Minecraft with Sammie and her friend which was fun, even though my sound sensitivity made it more draining than usual. There’s My Little Pony comics on Humble Bundle I might have to get as presents.

Fed up of the pain from eating. Is so tempting to stop completely, but I’m already malnourished and losing weight so it’s a bad idea. Today it was plain chicken breast and salad that set it off. Yesterday a sandwich (and later on a wrap). The day before, sweet potato chips and a milkshake. Pretty much anything that isn’t pure sugar and that’s dodgy too. I know wholewheat and really fibrous stuff is the worst, as it just clogs me up rather than helping things along, plus the pain is worse. Yet they include some of my favourite foods 🙁 When I’m well enough I should probably get some tests done to find out what’s going on, as even with the domperidone I’m still bringing up bacon from yesterday’s wrap.

What’s it like to be pain-free? I don’t remember. I’ve been in pain of varying amounts since I was 5 with no real let up. Maybe earlier, but my memory is fuzzy from before then. When I was a kid it was mostly reflux and joint pain (dismissed as growing pains, though they didn’t stop after I stopped growing). I didn’t even know it wasn’t normal. Now I’m just relieved I can get it down to bearable levels with tramadol. Dunno what I’d do if I couldn’t, other than be lying in bed unable to do what I can now. I’m grateful I can do what I can.

Penguins are awesome. Saw baby penguins on Facebook today, sent by a friend. They took away the rest of the sad from last night. Sometimes I just need to remember to be more like a penguin. Noop Noop!

Danni

Being Sad

Danni, NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Real Life

Today I am sad. I don’t know why. I can’t think of anything of anything in particular I’m sad about. I’m just sad. Being sad is unusual for me, especially without a reason. I’m not really wanting to do anything, which is very much unlike me. But it’s okay. Sometimes being sad happens, and I’ll be okay in the end. I still have penguins, even if they’re not cheering me up like they normally do. Today I am sad, but that’s okay.

Danni

Downsides to Being Danni

Autism, Computers, Danni, M.E., NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life

Yesterday I wrote a blog post, but forgot to publish it before sleeping. Fixed now, but I was a silly sausage.

I’m normally a very happy Danni. Penguins, friends, family, technology, purple, all awesome things that make me happy. There are some things that I don’t like about being me, some coming from being ill, others from being Autistic and Dyspraxic, and some combined to make smaller issues bigger.

One of the main ones is struggling to communicate with friends and family. There are several things that cause this to be an issue. The first is unless prompted, I forget people (and things) exist. Luckily these days there’s friend lists on Facebook and similar, but I’m unable to name all my friends and family without some form of prompt. I love them all dearly, it’s a quirk of my memory that’s been made much worse by being ill. I have to keep reminders around so I never forget who Sammie (my daughter) is. I imagine most people don’t forget their own immediate family, but I do. I find frequent Facebook statuses, tweets and stuff really helpful to remember who people are 🙂

I’m also pretty face blind. I don’t recognise myself in the mirror, and remember other people by hair, clothing style, voice and movement. I do better with photographs, but have thought pictures of my sister were me before. If someone drastically changes their hair style, especially without warning, it can take me a while to get used to their new one. This is less of a problem now I rarely see people face to face but it’s still frustrating.

I struggle to initiate conversation, even with people I really like and know well. Not because I don’t care about them, but because I don’t know what to say. I was getting better at this but then I got ill and it’s bad again. I really appreciate when others start a conversation with me because replying is much easier. Unfortunately since I became really ill I’m not always up to long conversations, but I’m hoping that will improve soon.

I’ve got a type of hearing problem where I can’t hear speech properly when there’s background noise. My actual hearing is better than average (I can hear things most other people can’t) but I can’t filter what I hear so have everything coming through, which is exhausting. I lip read to some extent which helps a bit but in a noisy room I simply can’t hear someone speaking. This is also a major part of why I can’t use the phone – I have no visual clues to help me and the line or background noise makes it nearly impossible to understand what’s being said. When I try it takes so much energy I’m completely exhausted afterwards and have relapsed because of it.

I’m tired now so I’ll leave it there, but understanding these are difficulties I have due to disability rather than being lazy or weak makes it much easier to deal with and means I can concentrate on workarounds to these issues. I’m still awesome, despite my problems 🙂

Danni

Level 100!

Computers, Danni, Gaming, M.E., NaBloPoMo, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life

I’m really happy as I got my Night Elf Priestess Danni to level 100 this morning. I’m kinda overwhelmed with all the stuff there is to do. So far I know I want to finish all the zone quests, search for all the hidden treasures, kill all the rare mobs,  level all my professions to 700, do the pet battles in my garrison, level my garrison buildings and heal all the dungeons in a guild group, preferably on heroic. That should keep me busy for a bit 😛

I’ve also managed to fix my problems with Minecraft. Turns out there’s a problem with the latest Java and going back to an older version fixed the crashes I was having. Yay! Sammie and her friend want me to play on the Minecraft server on Friday so I have that to look forward to.

My health seems to be improving a bit. Not only can I spend a lot of time on my computer, but I’m also able to be propped up more in bed. If I’m still doing well tomorrow I’ll be trying to sit on the edge of the bed (with Johan helping) to try and build up my tolerance again. I’m also finding reading a bit easier now. I still have the cold of doom but it does seem to be slowly easing up.

I got my blood results back from the hospital and it turns out I’m malnourished. Various deficiencies which I’m pretty sure are caused by not being able to eat properly for far too long. The doctor has recommended supplements and help from the dietician. I’m wondering though if it’s being worsened by my digestive system forgetting how to do its job a lot of the time. If I get that sorted though I’m hoping it’ll mean I feel a bit better, even though I know it won’t fix everything. The penguins are telling me I need more fish. I agree with them.

Sleeping pattern is still back to front. Not too worried about it but I’m trying to push it back as that works better for me than trying to bring it forward. If I can get it closer to normal I don’t know how long it’ll last but it’ll make playing with Sammie much easier so it’s worth it.

Penguins still exist. I have good friends. There are amazing people who I love and who love me. I’ve been able to do loads for me. Today is a good day 🙂