Category: Penguins!

Danni

2016 in Review

Danni, M.E., Meme, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life

Every year since I started this blog, I’ve done an end of year survey. This year, I finally realised that it’s my blog, so I can change the questions to ones more suited to me. I’m a bit of a silly sausage for only just realising that 😛 2016 was definitely an eventful year.

1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?
Saw Snowdogs! More in several years than ever, I went to an event with Sammie (the event wasn’t great, being out with Sammie was amazing).

2. Did you keep your New Year’s Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I ended up not making any. I’ve decided to swap to New Year Goals instead, but I’m still working on them 🙂

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
There were a couple of new babies on my Facebook timeline in the last year 🙂

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No-one I was very close to, but a couple of acquaintances 🙁

5. Where did you visit?
I went into Gateshead and Newcastle, to Saltwell Park twice (once with Sammie) and to South Tyneside Hospital twice for the same appointment 😛

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
Better neighbours. I’m getting more anxiety and panic attacks and flashbacks now, and Johan isn’t always in to help 🙁

7. What will you most remember from 2016 and why?
Getting my shower chair and better hoist slings. Going out with Sammie 😀

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Going to Enchanted Parks with Sammie was amazing. I hope to do something similar again this year (but maybe less boring and wet).

9. What was your biggest failure?
Having to admit that I’d lost the cognitive ability to manage my own finances and benefits without help. Johan became my appointee.

10. Did you suffer any new illness or injury?
Though overall I wasn’t too bad physically, my cognitive functioning declined quite a bit. I overdid it in December so ended the year feeling rather rotten.

11. What was the best thing someone gave you?
Though I love all my presents, the homemade photo frame with photo that Sammie gave me was awesome. Special mention goes to the loom band penguin and unicorn I got for my birthday 🙂

12. Who impressed you this year?
Other than Johan and Sammie, @IamMrJ’s report into ESA in poor areas was very impressive. He’s awesome. (The report: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/aug/09/biased-fit-for-work-tests-poorer-disabled-people)

13. What made you appalled and/or depressed?
Our upstairs neighbours. The care agency (it’s got a terrible CQC report so I know I’m not the only one having issues). The Tory Government (again). Brexit (the campaigns from both sides, the result, the murder of Jo Cox). The US Presidential Election. Bigots. Racists. It’s not been a great year in that way.

14. Other than food, bills and disability stuff, where did most of your money go?
New hobby: loom knitting 😀 Also managed to go out to eat a few times which was awesome.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I went to the Fireworks display! I went out with Sammie! Getting clean! Penguins!

16. What big events will you remember most from 2016?
Probably Brexit. I’ve got a feeling Trump’s presidency will be more 2017.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Happier 😀
b) healthier or more ill?
Overall I’m a bit better physically. Cognitively I’ve got worse.
c) richer or poorer?
About the same right now. Will have to see what decision I get for my PIP assessment.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Having showers. I managed 2 in 5 months.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Having anxiety and panic attacks. Having meltdowns. Most were triggered by the neighbours, some by care workers.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Opened presents when I woke up. Ate some goodies. Fell asleep. Spoke to Sammie and had the Christmas dinner our neighbour made when I woke up again. Stayed awake until the next morning then crashed hard. Our Christmas tree had lights and a penguin on the top this year. Maybe next year we’ll manage tree, lights and decorations?

21. What did you love in 2016?
Johan and Sammie (obviously). Penguins (also obvious). My Twitter friends. Awesome family. Those who initiated conversation with me when I became unable to initiate it myself.

22. How many trips out?
Several! Maybe not as many as I’d have liked, but I’m now definitely only mostly bedbound, not completely bedbound 😀

23. What was your favourite TV programme?
The Great British Bake Off 🙂 I think it’s the only TV show I managed to watch every episode of (excluding Christmas specials as I’ve not been well enough to see them yet).

24. Do you dislike anyone or anything now that you didn’t dislike this time last year?
I really dislike how the country has become less accepting of difference. The rise of the far right is really scary to me.

25. What was the best book you read?
Until the end of December, I thought it would be The Girl With All the Gifts. Then I was recommended Shades of Grey and that won. They’re both excellent though.

26. What was your greatest media discovery?
Probably the film Oddball, which I saw on (UK) Netflix. It’s about fairy penguins, which are my favourite real life penguins! And their doggy protector!

27. What did you want and get?
Other than talking and seeing Sammie, I managed going out (and not just for appointments), and I finally got my shower chair! I had two showers! I also got hoist slings with head support which makes hoisting much less painful. I also had two baths while in the care home while Johan was in Sweden at the end of July/beginning of August.

28. What did you want and not get?
I wanted to have more showers (silly body not letting me have more than two). I also wanted my health to improve overall, but though I’m doing better physically, I’m worse cognitively.

29. What was your favourite film of this year?
Oddball! Star Trek: Into Darkness was also good 🙂

30. What did you do on your birthday?
Sammie came over and visited! Best birthday present 😀

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being able to do more. I’m happy I managed to do some stuff though 🙂

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Purple. Sometimes I wore stuff that wasn’t pyjamas, like a purple shirt and tie 😀

33. What kept you sane?
Other than the obvious (penguins, Johan, Sammie, friends), good memories helped a lot, such as memories of seeing Sammie.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I should probably change this question but I don’t know what to 😛 I didn’t fancy anyone new, but finding out more about Carrie Fisher and George Michael meant I admired them more than I already did.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Probably Brexit. The whole thing was a mess and it’s not looking to get any better.

36. Who do you miss?
Sammie when I can’t talk to her. Johan when he’s out. My friends when I’m not able to communicate with them.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I think meeting IamMrJ in person was in 2016? I’m not sure. He’s even more awesome in real life than on Twitter though, and I already thought he was amazingly awesome 🙂

38. What was the best thing you ate?
Johan’s potatoes are again unbeaten. I also really enjoyed the fudge we got from Fancy a Fudge?

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016?
Too many people are willing to lie to get others to do what they want. Sometimes even evidence won’t work against it.

40. A quote that sums up your year:
“If my life wasn’t funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.”
― Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking

Danni

Happy New Year!

Autism, Danni, M.E., Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a good winter holiday season, and that this year will be good to you. I had a lovely time just before Christmas and on Christmas Day, but overdid it a bit and so it’s taken me a couple of weeks to recover. Annoying but nothing I’m not used to.

It’s been a busy time the last month or so. I managed to go out again a few days after my last post, going to Nando’s and then Tesco (couldn’t really go into Newcastle as the Metro was off), and lots of WoW for a bit. I did most of my Christmas shopping on Black Friday and then got payback from that so rested lots.

Tuesday 6th December I managed to go to Enchanted Parks with Sammie (and Johan and Sammie’s grandparents). The event itself wasn’t very good this year (based on Shakespeare, but there was less to do and see than last year and it was hard enough for the adults to understand) but being able to go out with Sammie made it worth it, even though it was chucking it down with rain. It was the first time I’d been able to do that in years, but next time maybe I’ll find somewhere a bit better (and less wet).

The next morning was attempt number 1 at going to the hospital for the dental surgery pre-assessment. We got there, and they couldn’t see me because I was on a stretcher (the previous week Johan spent a long time on the phone trying to tell them I was going to be coming on a stretcher, but kept getting passed around until finally arriving at a dead end). Attempt number 2 was meant to be the day after, but just before I was due to be picked up the lift on the ambulance broke (it’s kinda needed to get the stretcher in and out.

Friday morning was my PIP assessment. I was having payback from going out that week, and was non-verbal. The assessor tried to say she couldn’t assess someone who can’t speak (it’s a benefit for those who are long term disabled. And I have an appointee.) but she spoke to her supervisor and I dunno what they said but it was able to happen. Johan answered the majority of the questions for me, and I typed when I had something to add. By the end of it it was obvious to Johan I was struggling (kept hitting the wrong buttons on my text to speech app so it was saying things randomly) but I’m not sure if the assessor picked up on it. At least she seemed to understand that trying to get me to sit up was a bad idea, and I think she might have got an idea of how much help I needed by the end of it? The decision hasn’t been made yet so I just need to wait.

A week later the council came and cut down my tree 🙁 I am still sad about that, as the last few years I’ve been watching the birds out my window and seeing how the leaves change, and now I won’t be able to do that. On the 15th we had attempt number 3 at pre-assessment appointment, and though it was meant to be around 11.30am and ended up being nearer 2pm (they were in surgery longer than expected) it ended up being successful. I’m getting my teeth sorted under a general anaesthetic on the 10th of January, and I warned them about the things that I needed them to know (don’t sit me up, don’t give me paracetamol, being non-verbal isn’t anything to worry about).

Sammie came over to get her Christmas and birthday presents on the 22nd, which made me very happy. I love speaking to her. It feels weird being the mother of a 13 year old now. I also spoke to her on Christmas Day for a few hours via video chat and she showed me some of her presents. I am slightly jealous of her VR headset 😛 Our neighbour insisted on making us Christmas dinner (even though Johan tried to tell her he was cooking for us) so we ended up having one from her on Christmas day. It was nommy, even after reheating (I was asleep when it was made). Johan made ours on Boxing day (Sammie’s birthday) and that was also nommy reheated. Johan wins on potatoes though 😛 I wasn’t well enough to talk to Sammie that day but I did email her and she liked the email 🙂

For Christmas I got several penguins and penguin items (yay penguins!), a couple of new looms for loom knitting, chocolates, a handmade photo frame (from Sammie, with a photo of us two from when she was a toddler) and some smaller items. I also got so many cards that my 20 card holder wasn’t big enough so we had to find other places to put them. With that and two Christmas dinners I was very spoilt. I managed to watch the CBeebies version of the Nutcracker (which I really enjoyed even though I’m not the target audience), then the Christmas church service on telly. It was a good day even if I did end up sleeping a lot of it.

After Christmas I crashed a bit. I spent a lot of time sleeping, and when I was awake I was feeling rather rotten and out of it. New Year’s Eve Johan gave me a wash, and we had a cuddle while watching the fireworks as 2017 came in. I paid for that afterwards but it was worth it. Today is the first day I’ve been feeling well enough to do anything productive, though even this morning I was non-verbal. On Sunday our dryer will finally be made safe to use again after about a year (it was one of the ones affected by the fault that can cause lint to end up inside it and go on fire. We don’t want a fire). With having a general anaesthetic on Tuesday we’re expecting that I’ll need a lot of rest so are planning to keep things quiet for a bit afterwards. I’m hoping the payback won’t be too bad and that I don’t end up relapsing. We’ll see though.

TL/DR: I saw Sammie (twice!), there was Christmas and I spent most the time asleep or poorly 😛

Danni

Brain broked but stuff happened

Autism, Computers, Danni, Gaming, M.E., Mental Health, Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life, World of Warcraft

Physically I have got better. Cognitively I have got worse. This is not unexpected but very annoying. I am struggling to understand even simple things like my bank account and emails.

Because of this, Johan is now my Appointee when it comes to the DWP. This means he’s responsible for contacting them, filling in forms, and my money now goes into his account (which he then sends to mine because the bills come out of it, but when we’re able he’s going to be added to my account so he can manage it as well). We were worried that they’d say I didn’t need an appointee but instead they asked why it had taken so long. It was very hard for me to admit that I needed that help, and as soon as I’m consistently well enough to manage it Johan is going to hand control back to me.

Johan had his PIP renewal. We were a bit scared as it was only a 6 page “has anything changed” form and then we didn’t hear anything for weeks, but it’s been renewed again at the same rates so we don’t need to worry for now. My DLA to PIP transfer is in progress- we’ve now got the form that Johan needs to fill in. He says it’ll be easier than filling in his own, and he even managed the phone call to initiate it okay. We’re going for our usual tactic of sending tons of supporting evidence (mostly my care plans, where it says they’ll find me in bed both calls) and hope it goes smoothly.

As I’ve been doing better physically I have been out of bed a bit. I’ve been in the living room and to Newcastle (I went to the yarn shop! I bought yarn!). I saw Snow Dogs and they are awesome. I also went to the local park for the fireworks display and it was good, though people kept climbing over me while we were in the queue for food (we think they didn’t realise how long the chair was so thought there was a gap when there wasn’t). I wore my penguin onesie and was nice and warm. I’m definitely glad I managed to go, and hope to go next year. We’re planning on putting lights on my chair and skipping the food queues though 🙂

I have a shower chair now so I’ve had two showers! Showers take a lot out of me and the chair isn’t quite supportive or padded enough but person from CFS team has suggested using towels to make it better and we’re going to try that. I am so glad that it’s here now though. The main thing stopping me using it is not being awake and well enough at the same time Johan is available to shower me.

Last week we finally got my new hoist slings with head support. I’ve tried them and they make it so much easier and mean my head no longer flops backwards and my neck doesn’t get sore! We’re not sure if one will fit in my normal going out changing bag, but if not I’ll just get a bigger one.

I saw mental health team. They can’t help me because I’m not at high enough risk. Blegh. I’m both glad that I’m not that ill mentally, and frustrated that they couldn’t help even with suggestions. Last night fireworks going off made me really out of it, but I was also able to describe what was going on to Johan (he was with me at the time). I think it’s the first time I’ve been able to do that, explain what’s going on in my brain while it’s happening, but I don’t know how to stop it and I was exhausted afterwards and slept all night then all day. That was not in the plan.

I went to the local hospital for a smear test and coil change. Was funny the first time I went as they didn’t know I’d be in a stretcher, most of the information they had was wrong, and they didn’t know where to put me. They figured it out though (they had a second waiting room that had a curtained off bit- they put me there with a guard nurse at the door) and the doctor took my smear. I went back a few weeks later for the smear to be repeated as the first one didn’t have enough cells, and this time the doctor changed my coil as well as he didn’t want me having to go back there again. The second time they had two rooms ready for me- one in case I could stay on the stretcher like the first time, and since I couldn’t (the ambulance guys needed it for other people) they kicked a doctor out of his office so I could go on the only bed in the department that lies flat. It wasn’t exactly fun, but the coil change went about as well as it could have and I was in less pain than the day before, so I appreciate that. My second smear came back normal so I don’t need to worry for 3 years now, and 5 years for the coil. I’ve been a bit crampy and moody since but hopefully that’ll calm down in the next few weeks.

I have a hospital appointment at the beginning of December about my dental surgery. It’s going to be at a further away hospital, which will be the furthest I’ve travelled in over 4 years. Hopefully it won’t take too much longer after that to have my broken teeth removed- one of them has had a temporary filling in for over a year.

I’ve been playing a lot of World of Warcraft since Legion came out. I’ve done all the current quest lines, got all three artifacts for my Priest, and am concentrating on levelling my Discipline one. I’m okay doing most World Quests, LFR and normal dungeons. I’m too scared to try heroic or mythic dungeons yet, though since I have a 853 item level I am geared enough. Part of the problem is that I don’t really know how to heal with the new Disc system- in LFR it doesn’t matter too much if I’m not sure what I’m doing as there are other healers, but in a dungeon I’m the only one. I’m considering learning Holy for it, but I think I need my brain to work better first. WoW is a lot of fun though, and I’m glad I’m able to spend a decent amount of time in it (mostly at night while Johan is asleep).

The biggest problem my cognitive issues is causing is I can’t initiate conversation now. I can know what I need to say and who I need to say it to, but without a prompt I just can’t do it, and I don’t know how to explain that. Replying to someone is easier but still really difficult, especially if I don’t know the person that well. I’m also muddling up or forgetting words and stuff much more these days, which if nothing else gives Johan something to laugh at (as he hears most of them). It’s so frustrating needing to do something but not actually being able to do it, even though I technically know how.

Johan is now very busy. He’s in Newcastle 3-4 times a week now, and he’s taken up running so does the 5k park runs most Saturday mornings, and goes to the gym when he can to do more running. If I’m asleep at the wrong times, I sometimes don’t see him for more than a few minutes while he sorts me out in between stuff and sleeping. Both the exercise and being out regularly is helping him a lot, and what he’s doing now might lead to a career in the future. I struggle quite a bit if I’m awake while he’s out, but it’s mostly feeling vulnerable- if something happens, I can’t do anything about it. It also means my pads leak more which isn’t fun. We’ve asked our social worker to change the call times so I’m not left alone for quite as long (the morning call moved to lunchtime so Johan can sort me out before he leaves then the carer can sort me out a few hours later) and also for the evening call to be made much later so I don’t need to cancel it whenever I’m able to go out. He’s put the request in but I don’t know how long it’ll take.

The agency finally stopped trying to send the bad carer in October. It took my social worker putting it in the contract not to send her before they’d stop. I’ve had several carers say they’d happily do those calls if asked, so it’s not that no-one wants to deal with me, but they kept insisting she was the only person available. I’ve still not heard anything about my official complaint (that I put in during July) so once everything else has calmed down we’ve got that to chase up. It’s the usual problems we’re having with the care agency now- most of the carers are lovely and do their best, but there’s a complete lack of organisation and communication, and I still don’t get rotas so get panicky every weekend as I don’t know who’s coming.

At some point I need to see my GP as my antiemetic has started causing tachycardia and palpitations, which stops me sleeping and is very uncomfortable. I can reduce my heart rate manually for a bit (by holding my breath and tensing my muscles- I discovered it myself years ago when I thought I was panicking but was actually having POTS attacks, and it turns out it’s an actual treatment) but it eventually goes back up and the palpitations stay. I’ve been on it for several years without problem so I’m really annoyed this has started now, as it was the third one I tried and I really like not vomiting. Hopefully we can fit it in around Johan being out all the time.

I’ve now written a blog post that’s too long for me to read. That’s probably a sign I should publish it. Hopefully there aren’t any massive mistakes in it.

Danni

30 Already?!

Autism, Danni, Loom Bands, M.E., Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life

I somehow can’t quite believe that I’m now 30 years old. As my life basically went into standby 5 years ago, I don’t feel much older than I did then.

Had an up and down month. Body misbehaving. Another period (I think there were 2 weeks between them). Neighbours fighting at night. Care agency problems. Meltdowns. Hypersomnia. Talking to awesome people online. Watching lots of penguins. Finally watching Star Trek: Into Darkness (a present Becca got me yonks ago). Overall I’m doing okay, but I still wish I could be doing better.

My birthday was really awesome. The best present I got was Sammie coming over for a visit! That couple of hours talking to Sammie in person has kept me going through all the bad bits. She’s so amazing and I’m incredibly proud of her. She also gave me light up penguins and a holographic penguin card that I’ll have to put up somewhere more permanently. I also got a Fluttershy soft toy, a colour changing egg light, a massive Candy Chaos box (that was from Johan- he knows how to make me happy)  and so many really awesome cards and good wishes. It was really an amazing day and I feel so lucky to have so many people care about me.

Another thing I got really excited about was the Post Pals party. I never thought I could get so excited about a party I wasn’t going to 😛 Post Pals is one of my favourite charities and it was awesome seeing all the planning and then the photos and videos of the Pals enjoying themselves. I’m not able to send letters or gifts very often (writing letters/emails and choosing gifts are often too much for me) but I am able to bug other people to do so.

Saw the district nurses. Told them my pads are leaking, but as I’m already on the highest absorbency they can prescribe they’re not sure what to do. The same day they came out I got a new delivery and it turns out the company has changed them to be even worse. I’m now buying my own more absorbent ones to use while Johan’s at his day service and at night in an attempt to not need to change the bedding every day.

Was meant to see the community mental health team about coping with meltdowns since I can’t use my normal coping mechanisms (movement/loud music) but they couldn’t find a psychologist to come out so they didn’t come. I’m not sure what’s going on there now.

Saw CFS team. Told them have been up and down and other stuff, including that I still don’t have the right hoist slings or a shower seat yet. They’re going to try and chase things again and I’m to keep doing what I’m doing until I start improving.

Have been watching loads of penguins. The chicks are getting so big now! There’s even been a couple of rockhopper intruders recently (kings are visible lots but I’ve only seen rockhoppers a couple of times).

I’ve started loom knitting. It’s like loom bands but with yarn 🙂 I’ve made a hat so far and I’m working on a matching scarf. The acrylic that came in the set I bought is quite scratchy, but I’ve read it’ll get softer in the wash so I’m hopeful that’s the case. I’m very slow at it and I have to take lots of breaks, but I’m so glad to have found a craft my hands don’t complain too much about.

I’ve also started on Duolingo. Concentrating mostly on French, but also learning German and Swedish for fun. Some of the phrases it gets me to say are interesting: two that are memorable are “Nous avons vingt enfants!” – We have 20 children in French, and “Ich bin eine banane” – I am a banana in German. Since “I am a banana” is one of the phrases I repeat when my brain is being silly and I’m trying to say something else. It’s almost as if it knew 🙂 I’m doing okay at the reading and speaking, but my spelling (especially in German) and listening is terrible. The app can be a bit fussy on the speaking as well- I’ll say something three times the exact same way, but it’ll only accept it the last time. It’s fun and hopefully I’ll get back to being able to read in French and maybe know enough German and Swedish to be able to identify it.

There’s 11 days until Johan goes to Edinburgh, the day before going to Sweden. We don’t have a care home sorted yet as apparently my respite provision ran out in June and they didn’t tell us until after the date, despite us giving them plenty of notice. Johan is getting help from the day service so hopefully we’ll get it sorted soon. He’s definitely going though, so they need to sort something out as I can’t manage alone.

The care agency keeps sending a carer we’ve asked them not to send multiple times now. She hurts me when touching me and needs so much guidance for making food that the only thing I can have done is my teeth brushed, which is a waste of an hour call. One of my main carers has told the agency not to send her multiple times, and I had one of the supervisors come out and she also told them I didn’t want to have her, but she is still coming. It’s in my care plan that the carers will make phone calls on my behalf as I can’t do it. I also still don’t have a rota or my evening calls at the right time. I think we’re going to have to put in an official complaint as my wishes are being completely ignored and they’re making me more ill. Not sure how I’m going to do it but it’s not the first time they’ve done this.

Next week will be mostly sorting everything that needs to be sorted for Johan going to Sweden, and me resting lots so I’m able to get to whatever care home it ends up being. There’s also a church service I want to go to next week but that very much depends on my health. I managed to go vote in the EU referendum, but other than that I’ve not been out since May. (The leave result really scares me, as the EU has given us at least a small amount of protection against the Tory government. I think it’s only going to get worse from here but there’s nothing I can do about it so I’m trying not to worry.) Hopefully my body will calm down and I’ll be able to get out of bed and do more soon 🙂

Danni

Life Is Better With Penguins

Autism, Danni, M.E., Penguins!, Physical Disability, Real Life

The following blog post may not make any sense.

For some reason the Edinburgh Zoo Penguin Cam doesn’t work directly with Chromecast, which meant I had to ask Johan to stream the tab when I wanted to watch and wasn’t well enough to go on my computer. I got a bit fed up with that, and decided that I wanted an Android TV stick so I could watch when I wanted. After some investigation, the Amazon Fire TV Stick seemed the best (especially as it was £5 cheaper than normal) so I bought that. I’ve added some of my own apps and it not only works for penguins, but I prefer the Twitch app as well (displays the chat on the telly) and I can sideload basically any Android app I want on there. I’m glad I bought it.

I’m just coming out of a bad patch. I was confused by it at the beginning, as I’d been doing okay and then I couldn’t get into the living room and couldn’t even have hugs as I was too ill. I was also experiencing more abdominal pain than is normal even for me. The explanation arrived on Tuesday- my period had arrived. I’m not sure how long it had been since my last one, but I didn’t cope with it very well. Luckily I seem to be nearly done with it, so I’m hoping to go back to how I was at the beginning of May again.

I’m slowly replacing some of the stuff I use daily and is becoming raggedy because of this. This week it’s been my penguin pet cushion (used to support my arm in bed and my head in my wheelchair). I’d forgotten how big and fluffy they are when new. I’ll be keeping the old one as a spare, as they’re the exact right size and shape for me (and folding them works great for supporting my head) but it’s nice to have a new clean one. The other advantage of having two is I can have one in the wash while using the other one.

Poseidon also demanded a new body as his feathers were scraggly. The super soft fluffy fleece most of my penguins and cushions are made of is great, but when they spend all their time in bed with me they’re less soft and fluffy after a while. Since I was ordering the Fire TV on Prime Now and they sold the exact baby emperor penguin body that Po has, he got lucky and I was able to get him one (penguin magic was involved). He’s now big and fluffy and is very happy.

I managed to fix my tablet! I don’t know why the camera wasn’t working in Marshmallow, but I did a factory reset and reinstalled everything and now it all works. I’m so happy as it means I can now use video chat again and take selfies when I want to.

I’m a bit scared now there’s just over 2 weeks until my 30th birthday. I’ve got no idea what I want to do for it, though if I’m well enough to go out that would be amazing. Johan keeps asking what I want for a present and I don’t know that either. My life is very different to what I thought it would be, but I’m hopeful my 30s will be better than my 20s. I hope I’ll stop being mistaken for a teenager then as well 🙂

I’ve been reading the Young Wizards series by Diane Duane recently. I’m currently partway through A Wizard of Mars. I’ve got the New Millennium editions on ebook, which I’m glad about as in A Wizard Alone there’s an autistic character that was portrayed really badly in the original book, but in the new edition it’s actually really good and he chooses to remain autistic when given the option of changing himself. I’d read a couple of books in the series years ago in the library, but it’s really good to be able to read them all in order. Dairine is probably my favourite character, and displays many autistic traits herself (though these aren’t identified as such in the series). The world has been a great one to escape into and I’m trying not to go too quickly as I think I’m going to be annoyed when I run out of books.

Feeling really bleh and drained now, so I think more rest is needed. Until I’m doing better, I think it’s time for more penguins. Penguins make everything better.