Day 21: PSAs

The problem with sleeping most of the day and being zombie brained the rest of it is it makes it very difficult to think what to blog about. Luckily Sammie sent messages when I was asleep that gave me an idea.

Sammie shared the public road safety videos that she remembers from school. They’re quite different from the ones Johan and I remember, being creepy and deliberately scary. I think they were inspired by Coraline. The videos she shared are below.

The main road safety videos Johan could remember were the hedgehogs. I saw them on telly but unfortunately am too old to have seen them in school. The song is awesome.

I instead got the Green Cross Code Man. The actor is David Prowse, who played Darth Vader in Star Wars. After a few of these videos, they even let him use his own voice! I remember this one with his robot.

I didn’t realise until today that he made a new one, aimed at young adults!

What I remember most though were the fire safety videos, starring Francis the Firefly. I’m still scared of matches, partially due to these videos. The short version I remember from school, the long version I think I watched on telly. I read the book as well in junior school.

These days I think they were too harsh on Cocky Roach, especially in comparison to the punishment Francis got (or didn’t). If he’d been given good guidance and help, he might have become a productive citizen, especially as he was just a kid. They never did say what his motivation or goal was, and I’d be surprised if he actually wanted to burn the town down. He most likely just wanted to scare Francis.

I also remember watching lots of rail safety videos, as my first junior school wasn’t far from the high speed lines towards Liverpool Lime Street. I can’t seem to find any of those on YouTube though unfortunately.

I enjoyed those assemblies, and I can still remember the Green Cross Code (Stop, Look, Listen, Think), not that it helps when you forget what a road is. Any assembly where the school telly was brought in was always a good one. I suspect that if I’d seen the ones Sammie saw though I’d have ended up with nightmares. Bring back the hedgehogs!

Day 20 – Cuddles

Tuesday night I decided I wanted an alcoholic drink. I’m lucky in that I don’t have alcohol intolerance any more, and alcohol reduces my pain, anxiety and muscle spasms. If I didn’t have a family history of alcoholism and didn’t have to stop my painkillers to drink I might have it more often, but I keep it as an occasional treat. I also get quite giggly and it’s a bit harder to judge if I’m overdoing it.

Being in less pain meant I could cope more with touch, and I ended up having lots of cuddles with Johan. Since I’m normally in too much pain for even a short hug, this was very much wanted. Not being able to have hugs very often is one of the hardest parts of being this ill.

I ended up sleeping most of Wednesday, only waking up when my digestive system did. Which is fine when there’s someone here, not so much when I have to wait 90 minutes for someone to come help me. Being incontinent sucks sometimes.

Using a toilet again is one of the goals I’ve had on my list for several years now but I’ve yet to manage it. Silly body not liking being upright and incontinence meaning I don’t get enough warning to use the shower chair as a commode.

Otherwise sleep is good. Not being able to choose the times of it sucks a bit, and I feel horrendous when I wake up, but not sleeping means less cope and more worse symptoms. It did mean this blog post was late but I don’t mind that.

Day 19 – Minecraft Skins

Had a better day today. Had diet cola to give me a bit of a boost and it helped massively with getting rid of zombie brain mode. I like caffeine, just don’t want to get to the point where I’m dependent on it as I already have a bad enough headache without adding another.

Someone from the opticians came out with some purple frames for me to try and I was able to find ones I liked for both my normal glasses and sunglasses, so that is good. I should get them in a week or two. I’m looking forward to being able to see properly again!

There were workers outside finishing off deholing the hole. We think they’re done as there are no longer barriers, though the new pavement surface was still steaming when Johan took the photo. I managed to get my headphones on and listened to some music so the noise didn’t affect me too badly (yay for being well enough to listen to music!).

Spoke to Sammie on and off after she finished school. She is much happier than she was yesterday which I’m glad of. For the past few weeks she’s been working on some trans flag based skins for Minecraft and today she finished them! I promised I’d share them with the world as I think they’re awesome. (Sammie isn’t trans, she’s just very supportive of her trans friends and family.) There are boy, girl and non binary options with different skin tones and for both 3 and 4 pixel models. I’m really proud of her 🙂

Link: Trans Minecraft Skins

Day 18 – Something Goes Here

Brain is zombie. My nap yesterday turned into a full sleep so this is late. Progress was made on filling in the hole, which is good but the noise was exhausting. Silly body getting worse from noise.

Tried free from Tiffin I got from Morrisons as it was the only one they had. The texture is slightly off but it’s still really nice. I’d get it again. I don’t need free from foods as luckily I’m fine with dairy and gluten and stuff (or at least it’s no worse than eating anything else) but it is good that there are tasty options.

This blog post was kinda pointless but it’s still Monday in Hawaii so it’s not too late.

Day 17 – 20 More Random Questions

I spent most of the day asleep and my brain is mushy so answering more questions today. As I’m on my laptop it’s doing the list differently from yesterday.

  1. Are you a dog person or cat person? – Cat. I really like dogs but I love cats more. If Johan wasn’t severely allergic to them I’d be asking the council for special permission to have a cat (as we have a communal entrance we’re not usually allowed cats or dogs here).
  2. Are you a fan of any sports team? – I like watching football and cricket. For football, I support England, Iceland, Liverpool FC, AFC Wimbledon and Gateshead FC (both men’s and women’s). For cricket, I support England, Iceland, Durham and Lancashire. I’m s member of the Dons Trust (owners of AFC Wimbledon) and I donated towards the Iceland cricket team.
  3. Are you a good cook? – Before I got ill, I was pretty scared of cooking, because it tended to involve hot and sharp things that could hurt (and frequently did because I’m clumsy). I did make an okay chicken and mushroom risotto and roast dinner though, and I miss my orange soup (carrot, butternut squash and sweet potato).
  4. Are you an early adopter or late adopter? – I used to be an early adopter, getting the first Android phone (T-Mobile G1 in the UK) and often running beta or even alpha versions of software. More recently I’ve been content waiting a little bit before getting things. I only got WhatsApp a few days ago.
  5. What is good about how you are living your life right now? – I’m mostly happy. Having lived for over a decade with severe depression, I didn’t think it would ever be possible for me to be happy again. I also have some amazing family and friends that make life awesome.
  6. If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be? – Not having Severe ME would be good. Either that or my anxiety/panic attacks. They suck.
  7. Who is the best teacher you’ve ever had? – At school, Mrs Gregory, my year head and French teacher at my second secondary school. She believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. In college, my tutor Louise, who basically saved my life at one point.
  8. Who is the first person you message when something exciting happens? – This is the purpose of the group chat with Johan and Sammie. For most things, I want them to know at the same time.
  9. Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows? – Yes.
  10. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? – Yes. So can Sammie. Johan can’t, so he calls me a show off when I do so 😛
  11. Can you whistle? – Sometimes. I used to be able to be able to reliably but not so much since I got really ill. I can no longer whistle with my fingers.
  12. Do you remember your dreams? – As I wake up multiple times during sleep, I usually end up remembering a couple of them. I’d rather not when they’re nightmares.
  13. Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away? – I save special ones in my memory box. I have a couple of cards that I put on the wall as they’re so pretty.
  14. Do you sleep with the lights on or off? – Off. I also wear an eye mask so the light from elsewhere doesn’t bother me. I press a button on my tablet and it starts my sleep tracking and turns the lights off at the same time, which is awesome.
  15. Do you have a garden? – Technically yes. We share one with the other flats in the block. Unfortunately there are steps to it, so I’ve only seen it once (from the doorway) and never been in it.
  16. Do you have any allergies? – Yup. Hay fever was the first I noticed as a teen. Then I became allergic to amoxicillin, citalopram (an antidepressant) and plasters. I also have random reactions to various other things like going outside, many perfumes, and at least one type of food (possibly green bell peppers but I’m not 100% sure). I have intolerances to some medication (not allergic but side effects are unbearable) including paracetamol, codeine and oramorph. I suspect there’s something fishy going on with my immune system.
  17. Do you carry a donor card? – I don’t have a physical card any longer, but I have signed up to the donor register and made it clear to Johan that I want anything that’s usable to be donated. I used to carry one as a child.
  18. Do you have a best friend, if so, then who? – Johan. I’m very happy to be married to my best friend 🙂 I also have a small group of very good friends who I know I can turn to if needed. I’m very lucky.
  19. What is something that amazes you? – Many things. The universe. New discoveries. People’s capacity to love and help others. That we exist.
  20. What is at the top of your bucket list? – This is a hard question, as there are so many things I want to do. Going on holiday with Johan and Sammie would be pretty high. On the more extravagant side I want to go on a plane and see penguins in the wild. If I could be healthy or even reliably able to get out of bed, that would be amazing.