Goodbye “Carers”

We’ve cancelled all the carers. This morning I was actually looking forward to the carer coming, as the rota said it was lovely Icelandic carer and she’s awesome. Unfortunately it wasn’t her- the carer who made me really ill on Saturday turned up instead, an hour late. We hadn’t been told that we were getting her, or we would have cancelled in advance, because she makes both of us anxious, doesn’t read or follow the care plan, and doesn’t do anything because I can’t have her touch me since she made me so ill and as she won’t read the care care plan never even stayed long enough to be asked to do some basic housework.

This was the last straw. We’ve been having problems with the agency (DH Healthcare) for months, and things were only getting worse. There is no consistency- the lowest amount of different carers I’ve had is 7 in a week (we got 13 calls a week). Back when I used to have two carers in the evening, it wouldn’t be unusual to have 15 different carers. I’m autistic, so find new people difficult to deal with. They would show up randomly, or not show up at all. Carers on the rota would be replaced with someone randomly. We were never informed of any changes. We had to ban some carers because they were so bad they’d make me ill, and they’d still turn up on the rota so we’d have to cancel the call. The carers that were good and we liked we were seeing less and less of. The agency refused to tell new carers anything about me before arriving, which meant they expected two people with communication problems to do their work for them. Some of the carers were so rough they’d cause me to scream in pain. Some wouldn’t follow any instructions. Some would talk to me in such a way it would make me absolutely terrified. A lot of the carers would rush- my calls were 45 minutes in the morning, 30 minutes for a normal night call and an hour for a bath call specifically so I could take things slowly and rest when I needed to. Most of the carers would not read the care plan, so wouldn’t follow it. There was even one carer who when told what was on the care plan, actually refused to follow it, as she “didn’t do domestic” (my care plan included some basic housework, as it was to try and help Johan out as well). A lot of the carers would not take my communication difficulties into account, even when told about them- I cannot cope with open questions, but they’d persist in asking them. Quite a few would blatantly lie- to us, the agency and on the record sheet they are supposed to fill in.

There were some good carers. They’d listen to us, take things slowly, treat us as equals rather than talk down to us, try and help me maintain my dignity while helping me. They’d use their initiative- if there were dishes to be done, they’d do them without having to be asked to. We’re going to miss those carers. Unfortunately I’ve seen very little of them recently, as they very rarely appeared on my rota.

We’ve tried complaining. We’ve had lots of meetings to try and sort things out, and they never were. Johan has also been struggling recently, so hasn’t been able to complain every time something went wrong (which would have meant him having to complain about 5 times a week). I’ve tried telling my social worker, but he doesn’t seem to actually care.

The care agency mostly caters for older people. I am scared for the other people they are meant to be providing care for, as I’m a young person who isn’t afraid to complain, and there have been a lot of problems. I also have Johan to look after me, especially when they’ve just not turned up. They couldn’t meet my needs, but refused to say this and continued to send out people who were not able to deal with them. In the last week there’s been lots on the news about how home care for older people breaches their human rights (for example http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15836500), and I wasn’t surprised because I’ve experienced some of it for myself.

I know that my needs are quite specific, but most of them aren’t too hard for anyone to implement. I need people who can be quiet when talking to me and working, and who don’t wear strong perfume. I need people to understand that I do have communication issues, so I’d rather they ask specific questions for what I want doing (all listed on the care plan, and I even had a list with just those printed for them). I need people to understand that because my M.E. is variable, there will be days where I’ll want more personal care, and other days when I’m too ill for any, so maybe they could go tidy the kitchen a bit instead. If for some reason I can’t cope with them being here (sometimes when I’m very ill I can’t cope with any extra noise or movement) they need to leave as soon as we tell them.

The biggest things I need though are consistency. I need a low number of total carers, so we can teach them our ways. I need them to come when they say they’re going to (at the same times each week), and to tell us if there’s going to be any changes. I also need them not to come early, as I find that causes me to panic (though they can be up to an hour late, I’d like to be told if it’ll be more than half an hour, though).

We’re currently trying to swap to direct payments, and although we were initially after a personal assistant, we’ve now realised that just going with a different care agency may work instead. My care plan is also out of date, as it was written up in May, when I was able to do a lot more for myself. Most of my personal care Johan can do, though he struggles a bit with washing my hair and plaiting (he’s gotten good at brushing it now I have a tangle teezer) and isn’t confident with the idea of brushing my teeth. He really needs help with housework though, and that’s one of the things my care package is meant to help with, so he can concentrate on looking after me.

This has got a bit long, so I’m going to leave it there, but I’m relieved that I don’t have to worry about the carers any more. Hopefully things will start to improve soon.

Bed Day

Today I have eaten three meals. Breakfast, lunch and tea. I can’t remember when the last time I managed to do that was. I also had a lot of jelly 🙂

Spent most of the day in bed, as I’m pretty tired after yesterday. Watched some penguins, which made me happy. My tummy decided it was going to rebel against me, so I’ve been not-coping too well because of that. It hurts 🙁

Twitter has been awesome today, as it often is. I love my friends on there, as they are funny and awesome. It makes me feel less isolated when I can’t get out, and things being limited to 140 characters means I can normally keep up with what is being said. This is especially important as my cognitive functioning is decreasing at the moment.

I also got some purple fairy lights, which I have set up around my bookcase next to my bed. They are pretty, and means I don’t need the main light on which is good. I also got Johan a desk lamp so he can still see without the main light on.

I need to sort out some things before hospital next week, so will start on that tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m trying to stay awake a little bit later to try and push my awake time to more when Johan wakes up, as I spend a few hours each morning alone and that’s hard. He looks after me really well. He’s not depressed anymore we think, but his medication is making him very tired and sleep a lot, which is making some things hard. He sees the nice doctor on Tuesday though so that’s good.

When Things Go Right

I woke up this morning at 4.30am, and discovered I’d forgotten how to talk. It’s now nearly 7pm and I still haven’t remembered how to.

This morning I had the hospital appointment. Ambulance transport rules say that if you have a morning appointment, you must be ready by 8.30am even if the appointment is at 11am. The ambulance arrived at about 9am, and I don’t know if it was a coincidence or someone actually requested it for me, but it had a stretcher in it so I was able to lie down 😀 We got to the hospital about 9.40am, and asked if there was somewhere I could lie down. There wasn’t, but they instead said they’d see me immediately, which they did.

My appointment went well. We got around the not being able to talk problem by me typing on my tablet and Johan reading what I was saying for me. They went through my medical history (a lot of questions were answered with “only because of my M.E.”, which was a bit scary), told me what was going to happen, had me sign the consent form, and then got me on the bed to listen to my chest and feel my tummy. It was over by 10am, and the nurse sorted out calling for the ambulance to take me home.

We again asked if there was somewhere I could lie down to rest, but they didn’t have anywhere available. However, we went to the main entrance to wait and found some comfy sofas, so I reclined (and at times lay) on there. An hour later and the same ambulance came to take me home. Because I’d only actually sat up for about 20 minutes, I was able to get up the stairs on my bum. Johan helped lift me and the ambulance woman followed with my legs.

The ambulance people were amazing. They even shut the blinds on the way back because the light was bothering me. I’m also grateful for the doctor and nurse at the appointment who made sure the appointment happened straight away and was over as quickly as possible. Because it went so well, I was in a lot less pain and felt a lot less ill than I had done the previous week. I was still very sore and didn’t feel great, but I could cope with it.

On Friday 2nd December I’m going back to get my teeth removed under a general anaesthetic. We’ve booked stretcher transport, and though they hope I’ll only be there for the day they have advised me to take overnight stuff just in case. I’m going to write a sheet with all my important information to take with me to try and help the nurses and people look after me. I’m also going to ask that Johan be allowed to stay with me on the ward, as he knows me and can help me communicate. If it goes as well as today did, that will be awesome.

Other than the appointment, I’ve spent most of the day in bed. Had a weird dizzy spell this afternoon, where I suddenly felt extremely dizzy and weird, though without any extra nausea. Not sure what caused that, or what it was about. I had a 20 minute nap and I wasn’t as dizzy afterwards. I also had a bath this evening as it had been more than a week since my last one so I was desperate. It was a new carer and it was interesting trying to get things sorted when I couldn’t speak, but she was happy to listen and to be told how we like things done. I think I like her 🙂

I’m probably going to sleep soon, as I got woken up at 4.30am by my bad tooth (it calmed down quite quickly after waking me up, luckily). It’s now getting towards 8pm, so that’s a good time to be thinking of sleep.

Brain is Stuck

It is hard for me to write as my brain keeps getting stuck. I hear something and have to repeat it lots and can’t stop it. I am also having problems trying to translate stuff into proper English with proper grammar.

Not sure why I am having a brain stuck day, just that I am. I will sleep soon and see if that helps.

Today I managed to rename my main character in World of Warcraft, from Danní to Danni. This made me happy. Blizzard let me have the name as someone else had used it but only for a level 1 and it had been inactive for a long time. This should make things easier for my guildies and things, and it makes me happy to be able to have my proper name in World of Warcraft 😀

I had jelly and ice cream. My mouth was being silly and forgetting how to chew, but that is not important for jelly and ice cream. It also kept breathing the food in instead of swallowing it, which is making my chest a little bit sore. I am not sure why it is being silly.

Tomorrow is hospital. I hope it is okay.

Back Problems

Still suffering payback, so has been a day of not very much. Pain, nausea and concentration have all been really bad today. My mood has been all over the place as well, which isn’t great. My eyes keep leaking without permission.

Anyway, Johan sorted out ambulance transport for Wednesday. It’s normal sitting up transport, so that will be fun. Oh, and we have to be ready by 8.30am, and the appointment is at 11am. Yeah. We’re going to have to ask if there’s somewhere I can lie down while waiting. This was why I got a taxi last time, but with me doing even worse than last Wednesday I need someone to carry me down and up the stairs.

My back went into spasm for a while earlier, and though the muscles have since relaxed, it’s still exceptionally painful. I wish I could get used to it, but nope.

Sleep is all over the place. Will be awake a few hours, then have to sleep again for a few more. We cancelled both carers today as they’re both ones we don’t like. That situation is just getting worse, not better.

Johan did by some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream though, and made up some jelly, so tomorrow I can have jelly and ice cream. He’s also getting his new phone tomorrow. It’s the Galaxy Nexus, which runs Android Ice Cream Sandwich. I will be having a play, though I’m not getting a new phone until I start going out again, which will be when I improve.

I’m worried that because things keep cropping up to interfere with my rest (like appointments and carers that make me more ill) that this payback may result in a full blown relapse. I’m already very ill, and I’m not sure either of us would cope if I get worse. I’ll just have to hope for the best and rest when I can.