Crawling Penguins

I’ve had an interesting time. I saw my GP. He persuaded me to try codeine again, at a higher dose. It worked… for the first 90 minutes. Then I had the most horrendous stomach cramps- worse than the pain I was already in. So I stopped taking it. A week later, I ended up in A+E because the pain was unbearable. The morphine I was given also gave me stomach cramps. Because the doctor was able to ask what they were like while I was there, I was able to describe that they were like spasms (I have very poor body awareness and also a bad short/medium term memory, so after they’ve finished I can’t remember what they’re like). She had a think, gave me buscopan and it worked! No more stomach cramps. She also gave me tramadol to last a week (well, until the next morning with a prescription for the week) to last until I saw my GP.

My GP took me off the tramadol and put me back on the codeine, with the buscopan. It works, but it turns out not all the tummy troubles were spasms- I still get a really sore, uncomfortable abdomen with the codeine, but without the spasms I’m not rolling around in agony. I’m taking it because my experiment of not taking it failed, but I’m not happy as tramadol didn’t cause the same problems, and worked better. I am aware that the tramadol shouldn’t really be taken with the other medication I’m on though as it can cause fits, so I’m being a good girl (mostly).

Seeing the doctor also made me a lot more ill. He had me trying to stand up and trying to walk, which exhausted me so much, I’ve been bedbound pretty much all the time since then. Yeah, thanks. I’m currently refusing to go back there, as it’s not worth making myself more ill over it. I need more codeine though, as I only had 2 weeks worth from the first time, so I need to figure out a way of getting a prescription without getting out of bed or using the phone. I suspect I may be writing a letter, then asking Johan to take it down there.

I did manage to get out of bed long enough to go to college last Monday, but I couldn’t concentrate and I really wasn’t well enough to be there, as now I can’t even sit up unsupported for a few minutes. I’ve fallen really behind on Computing, especially since my brain is really foggy. It is half term next week though, so I’m hoping to be able to catch up a bit. I also need to do a bit of catching up with Interface work, but that’s not quite as difficult so shouldn’t take too long, though if it’s worksheets I’ll need a scribe as I can’t hold a pen for much longer than to sign my signature.

Some good news though- my laptop has been repaired, and now works mostly okay. It needs a new battery (not covered by insurance) but it lasts long enough, and since I don’t move around much I can keep it plugged in. It also means that when my concentration comes back I can do some Computing work in bed, as the laptop has Windows on it and runs well enough for VB.Net. I can also play World of Warcraft on it. It’s not good enough for instances or raids, but it’s okay for chatting and dailies. It’s also lighter and cooler than Johan’s laptop, so better for me in bed. I’m really happy to have it back.

In World of Warcraft, I’ve completed my first level 85 normal dungeon! Possibly not the biggest achievement, but it felt good and went well. I could tell how healing has changed, and how I need to adapt for when I get to heroics and raids. I also went to ICC and did a ton of hardmodes, and achievements. It was a lot of fun, as with being all level 85 it didn’t require much concentration, and I already knew most of the fights. I’m hoping to be able to do the rest of it with the same group.

My mood has been a bit up and down, mostly because of pain and being fed up of being stuck in bed. Overall it’s good, I just get a bit sad or upset when I can’t do something, like sit up. Johan’s been pretty ill though- he had a breakdown, and his anxiety and depression got really bad, and he couldn’t speak. He’s back on medication to help with anxiety, and has been referred to the CMHT to get help overall. We know the main cause is being under so much stress from looking after me, but he needs a bit of help to get through this patch.

We finally got our Social Services assessments. The conclusion is I should be entitled to quite a bit of help with personal care, and hopefully Johan can get some respite. Eventually, I’ll probably get a personal assistant, who may be able to help me with getting to and from college. That would be awesome. We also have forms to fill in to move house, on medical needs. I need a property which has level or ramped access, an adapted bathroom, and that is generally wheelchair accessible, since it doesn’t look like I’ll be walking any time soon. When we have moved, I’ll be getting an electric wheelchair if my appeal for higher rate mobility is successful, which would be awesome, as it would give me so much independence.

I’m trying to think of things that I can do in bed, that won’t make me any more ill. I really need to spend less time on my laptop, and I can’t concentrate well enough to read, so I’m thinking of maybe getting some crafty stuff like beads to work with for when I’m not napping. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get up and maybe go out soon. I’m on day four of not biting my nails, so I’m hoping to get some nail varnish and things to make them pretty ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ll try not to take so long over my next blog post ๐Ÿ˜›

A Worgen Named Prudence

So my near-daily blog posts haven’t happened. I’ve been too tired. I was off college for a week because of the snow, then struggled in for the next week, having to go backwards most of the time. The snow then cleared up, and I finished college for the term with the Interface Christmas party, which was way too noisy, but I enjoyed it by hiding and talking to friends.

World of Warcraft: Cataclysm has been released, and my copy arrived very late from Amazon- 6 days late. Dannรญ is currently level 83, and I have a Worgen named Prudence. She was named by asking a well-read friend of mine to give me lists of female names that would have been in use in Victorian Britain, and I kept trying them until I found one that wasn’t taken. Prudence was it ๐Ÿ˜› The Worgen starting area is epic.

I also have a Goblin called Dannileia. The Goblin starting area is extremely funny. I loved it ๐Ÿ™‚ I want the Hot Rod on Dannรญ now, even though she’s Alliance and can’t get it.

I’ve not been playing as much World of Warcraft as I’d originally wanted because my M.E. is pretty bad, and I’ve been going out way more than I should have been. I’ve also had a rough couple of weeks due to being premenstrual for the first time in almost 2 years (yay coil!). As well as the Christmas party, I went to the MetroCentre to do Christmas shopping and the next day to a meal in Newcastle for my sister Meggy’s birthday. Both involved noise, crowds and socialisation (the second more than the first). It was hard. Luckily I’m pretty much finished with my Christmas shopping now, and just have to wrap everything.

Plan for tomorrow/later today: wrap presents, get someone to deliver them, tidy living room, sleep.

The End of NaBloPoMo

This is my 30th daily blog post for November, which means I’ve successfully completed NaBloPoMo. Some blog posts were pretty short, just a YouTube video and a few words, and others have been a bit longer. This month started with Autistics Speaking Day, and finished with me being housebound because of the snow. In between were lots of posts about college (especially missing it quite a lot because of illness and snow). I cut down my hours at college near the beginning of the month, sorted out a problem with support on a Wednesday, and overdid it a lot, meaning I was firmly in a boom and bust cycle of ME. I played a lot of World of Warcraft, was discharged from the mental health service, got sucked into TV Tropes for over a week, bought a new hoody (that has been worn more days than not), and spent most of the month in severe, chronic pain that my painkillers don’t come close to touching.

I also met a couple of the stars from one of my favourite shows from my childhood, caught (and mostly got over) a cold, took part in a big launch event for an online film, played Quasar Laser in my wheelchair, and rewatched season 1 of Dollhouse. My mood dipped a bit for a few days while I struggled to cope with a worsening in pain, but has mostly improved now, possibly with the enforced rest the snow has given me.

Overall, a rather mixed month. Today again I was stuck indoors due to the snow, but tomorrow is the Christmas meal and cinema trip with my tutor group, which I will be going to even if I need to get a taxi to go there. I will be attempting to go to college in the morning, but will need to see based on what the weather is, what the buses are doing and what the roads and pavements are like near here. We do have a plan that involves pulling my wheelchair backwards in the snow, as the bigger wheels should mean it works better.

I shall try to keep blogging daily, or near daily, but I won’t put myself under the pressure I did this month. At least there won’t be any more panicked blog posts just before midnight because I’d forgotten earlier in the day ๐Ÿ™‚

World go Boom

Today the world of Azeroth was torn apart when Deathwing decided he was going to burst out and destroy things. I would be playing in World of Warcraft, but I got upset by something some people in my guild did and so I’m avoiding it, in case I accidently insult or upset anyone.

Computing this morning was… well, I’m not sure, as I was half asleep. I can vaguely recall writing some words for a test, but that’s about it. I’m sure we were taught stuff, but I now have no recollection of the lesson. For Enrichment, we went to Quasar Laser, and it was a lot of fun. I came fifth overall- not bad considering I was being pushed by Louise (she was excellent at it) and was the easiest target in the game. I did “kill” a lot of people though, and once deactivated the other team’s base. We won, by a lot (over 600 points).

Came home via the MetroCentre. Johan bought some new boots and some wellies, as his shoes are falling to pieces. It was snowing today, and his feet got soaked. I have ordered a wheelchair leg cosy as I do not want to try this winter without something to keep my legs warm, and it’s waterproof as well.

I overdid it today. The Quasar Laser took an awful lot out of me, and I’m really glad I don’t have a lesson until tomorrow evening. My homework will have to wait, as my head went boom while we were in the MetroCentre and it hasn’t recovered yet. I am also in a lot of pain, as I moved too much. When I’m in pain I get rather grumpy and irritable. I also still have a cold, which is better than it was last week but is still making me feel lousy. I just wish painkillers that worked had been invented by now.

Yay! College!

Made it to college today. Not only that, but was early enough to have my lunch and a chat in Interface. It was fun. Went to Computing and we had a test on output devices… where I wrote words and hoped that at least some of them made some sense in relation to the questions (if I fail, it was because I was off all last week :P). I also got my other test back, the one I thought I’d failed on. I got 28/35, and Simin says I’m on course for an A. I’m slightly confused (especially on how I got that high a score), but happy at the same time.

After Computing we had Enterprise, where I worked on the Interface website for a bit. I need to email/ask Nicola to see if I can steal some photos for the website, and also to ask her if she has any suggestions for content, as I want to it to be useful. Also, if she agrees, I want to get it a proper domain name and hand it over to the staff as a proper website for Interface.

Also in college, I found out more about the Christmas activities. There is going to be a Christmas party, and I’m allowed to invite one guest. My problem is that Vicky wants to come, but Johan has to take me to college and pick me up. I will speak to the people at college to see if we can sort something out. I will have to miss the first 45 minutes anyway, as I have Computing on that day (it’s a Thursday).

The journey home was mostly uneventful, though the lift at Monument was out of order so we had to jump back onto the Metro and get off at Haymarket. Oh, and I had a panic attack at Chichester because it was swarming with police.

Right now, I’m in Ice Crown Citadel, trying to kill the Lich King. I guess I best go back and shield people.